Scars
by Candiege2
Summary: Spencer and Ashley were best friends in high school, then something happened and Spencer disappeared out of Ashley's life for 10yrs. Warning: there is content of child abuse is the form of flashbacks in this story. First attempt at writing, any constructive criticism appreciated. Thanks )
1. Chapter 1

**Hello again, as always thanks for reading. After some really good advice I have went back through and did some editing to the 3 chapters that I posted so far. So I'm resubmitting the updated chapters. I'm also working on Ch. 4 and that should be up sometime this morning. **

**Please continue to review! =)**

Chapter 1

"RING RING RING"

"Go away, I don't want to talk to you" Spencer yells at whoever is calling her phone from the shower. Her phone stops ringing "Thank you" she say out loud as if they can hear her.

"RING RING RING"

She growls as she closes her eyes attempting to ignore the ringing phone. Standing under the hot water trying to relax her tense muscles as the hot water beats down on her back. The phone goes quiet again; she prays that whoever is calling her will get the hint and quit calling. Just as she starts getting hopeful that they gave up the damn phone rings.

"RING RING RING"

She again tries to ignore it, but now her conscience is telling her that whoever is blowing up her phone may have an emergency. Spencer jumps out of the shower, grabs her towel and runs for the phone not bothering to dry off, she turns the corner and BAM her ass hits the floor.

"Whoever is blowing up my phone better be on their death-bed." she mumbles to herself as she picks herself up off the floor and grabs the phone off the table answering without bothering to check the caller ID.

"This better be good" she growls into the phone, trying to catch her breath.

Silence

"Listen whoever is there better speak up now" she says through gritted teeth.

"Spencer? Why aren't you answering your phone and why do you sound out of breath?" the voice on the other end of her phone is her best friend, Madison, who is now at the top of her shit list.

"Cause I have a hot date in the shower and you are interrupting!"

"You have someone in your shower?" Madison whispers as if someone were here they would be able to hear her.

"NO Maddy, I'm trying to take a shower. Why are you blowing up my phone?"

"Oh I wanted to call and tell you about the softball tournament starting tomorrow. A bunch of girls from work are playing and I'm going to watch and cheer."

"You are blowing up my phone because why?"

"Well because you should come."

Spencer contemplates smashing her head against the wall.

"You are blowing up my phone to invite me to a softball game, Maddy you could have left a message or sent a text."

"Well yea, but then you would have just pretended to not get my message and not come."

"Well funny thing is I'm not going anyway."

"Why not!" Maddy says in a tone that she recognizes as her stubborn, I'm not taking anything but a yes voice.

Spencer shakes her head knowing that the only way to get back to her shower is to give Maddy the answer she wants she can make up an excuse and cancel later.

"Fine I will go to the game. What time does it start?"

"Starts at 4, see you then, love you" Maddy hangs up the phone afraid she will change her mind.

She heads back to her shower, drops her towel, and steps into the water without testing it first. "FUCK!" She screams and jumps back out. In her haste to answer the phone she forgot to turn the water off so now the water is ice-cold. "Yep Maddy is number one on my shit list."

She heads to the bedroom to get dressed, as she walks into her room, she glances at the mirror noticing the scars that cover her torso and back. Spencer avoids mirrors, so this takes her by surprise and she is six years old again.

**_21 years ago; age 6_**

_Spencer heard the door open and lies as still as possible. "Spencer" her name being slurred, she does not move, frozen by fear. Hoping that tonight she believes she is asleep. Having watched her mother start drinking at noon today she knows that if Mother finds out she is awake, the consequences will not be good. _

_She hears her footsteps stumble across her bedroom floor; she is glad that she had made sure everything was off the floor before going to bed. Having her trip on a toy left on the floor would always end badly, no matter if she was awake or asleep. _

_Mother is now beside her bed, glaring down at her. She steadies her breathing, not moving a muscle, making sure her eyes stay close. She kneels down, her face next to the girl lying in bed. "Spencer" she slurs again, her breath blows against Spencer's face. The smell makes her flitch, "Please don't let her see that" she prays. She growls, she knows she has seen it. _

_"You have been a bad girl; you did not fall asleep when I told you to." She slurs. _

_Spencer doesn't bother apologizing that just makes it worst. She prepares herself for whatever "game" she has planned for tonight. _

_"What happens to bad girls" she slurs again. _

_She remains quiet._

_"ANSWER ME GIRL" she yells. _

_"They get punished" she responds, not letting the fear she is feeling reflected in her voice. That is what mother wants. _

_Mother grabs Spencer and pulls her out of bed, shaking her as she slurs "That's right, now it's time to punish you for being a bad girl" as she pulls out her favorite toy Spencer wept. _

_Her favorite toy is a broken broom handle, her favorite game is to have Spencer walk back and forth in front of her, and every time she passes her she smacks her with the stick. This goes on until Spencer is unable to stand anymore. _

_After about 8 whacks she no longer feels the stick hitting her skin. _

She snaps out of the flashback, shaking her head to clear the images from her mind. She walks into the closet to get dressed with a sigh. "When will the images no longer sneak up on me?" Most days she can go an entire day and not have a flashback until something will happen that will bring them to the surface. The scars on her body a constant reminder of all the games Mother and Spencer use to play.

She is sitting on her couch with a cup of hot chocolate, staring at the book lying in her lap not yet focusing on the words. Another Friday night spent home alone, with only herself to blame. At twenty-seven, she has not had many relationships ah hell she hasn't had any "well except one" she says out loud to no one. That ended with her being heartbroken and her trust being broke again.

Most of her relationships if you can even call them that are one night stands. Someone she picked up from the bar, always going to their place, and gone before they're awake.

"Shit I don't even remember their names"

When they acquire about the scars, if they happen to see them, which isn't often due to her either not removing all her clothes or the lights stay off or they are too intoxicated to notice. If they by chance notice she can distract them.

That game got old, never leaving her satisfied. It wasn't worth the energy it took. So it's been a few years since she's been with anyone.

Madison doesn't know about her past, she would ask a lot. Until on one bad day, she blew up on her telling her to mind her own business. Then she didn't speak to her for days. Maddy apologized and has never asked again. After that their friendship changed, she is still Spencer's best friend only now she doesn't ask her to do things as often. She was surprised when Maddy called to ask her to go to the baseball game. Not that she is planning to go.

After attempting and failing to focus on her book, she gives up and head upstairs to go to bed. Glancing at the clock on the wall it is 8:30 "pathetic."

Spencer climbs in bed dressed in her pajamas. She had tried sleeping nude before and spent the night panicking. She doesn't even try. Just as she is dozing off, she hears her phone beep signaling a text message. She wants to ignore it, but knows her phone will continue to beep until she acknowledges the text. Rolling over she unlocks her phone seeing a text from Maddy.

"Hi, what are you doing?"

"Sleeping"

"It's 8:30 on a Friday."

She rolls her eyes while responding "Thank you Captain Obvious."

"Girl you need a social life."

Not wanting to get into this conversation, she ignores her statement.

"Maddy is there something you need?"

She can picture her best friend fighting the urge to push the fact that her social life is in need of regeneration. "No. I just wanted to say Hi, and that I'm excited to see you tomorrow." She says to Spencer's surprise.

Shit well now is a good time to cancel, just as she is about to respond with her excuse, Maddy sends another text.

"Don't even think of cancelling, I haven't seen you in weeks, you promised. It won't kill you to watch a softball game with me."

She deletes what she had started to type, she shakes her head as she types out "See you tomorrow." Along with a smiley face and hit the send button. Well she committed now, she thinks with anything but a smile on her face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again, as always thanks for reading. After some really good advice I have went back through and did some editing to the 3 chapters that I posted so far. So I'm resubmitting the updated chapters. I'm also working on Ch. 4 and that should be up sometime this morning. **

**Please continue to review! =)**

CHAPTER 2

Spencer was driving across town, following the direction that her phone was giving her. "I can't believe I'm going." She complains out loud. "I don't even like baseball, shit every time I'm around one I get knocked unconscious." She continues. "I don't like crowds, heat, or drunken people." She complains. There are bound to be all three today. Yet she continues to drive, Madison was correct when she said that they haven't hung out in weeks. On the rare occasion that Maddy asked her to do something, Spencer would come up with an excuse not to. She misses her friend and doesn't want to lose her one real friend so she continues to drive.

"This is going to be a long day." She mumbles as she pulls into the park. There is already a parking lot full of people. She drives around looking for a spot to park. Five minutes pass and she is about convinced to just leave and use the excuse of no parking when she sees an open spot. "Damn Damn Damn" she smacks the steering wheel with each damn.

She pulls into the spot, taking a few deep breaths, mentally preparing herself. "Spencer gets a grip. Maddy is here, no one will hurt you." She says giving her a pep talk. She steps out of the car and instantly the heat hits her. "I hope she found a shady spot or I'm out of here." It is an empty threat; once Maddie spots her there will be no leaving.

She pops her truck, grabbing her chair and cooler filled with ice and waters. Every other cooler at the park would be filled with alcohol she made sure to bring her own. She looks at her text from last night to see what diamond Maddy said they were at. She started walking towards diamond four sending a text to Madison letting her know she is there. Almost immediately she receives a response Yay Sitting under the tree.

"Well damn there goes my excuse to leave" she mumbles remembering her empty threat. She gets to diamond four "Great there are trees everywhere"

"Spencer Spencer"

She turns and sees Maddy waving at her. She walks towards her meeting her halfway. Maddy takes the cooler from her giving her a hug with the other arm.

"Thanks" Spencer says.

"No problem, what did you bring?"

"Just waters"

"Of course"

Maddy links her free arm through hers guiding her towards the spot she's watching the game from saying "it's good to see you."

"You too, I've missed you."

"What's not to miss?"

Spencer rolls her eyes and begins setting up her chair as Maddy continues "Although you wouldn't miss me if you didn't keep saying no to hanging out."

"I am sorry I will try to say yes more"

Maddy looks at her like she wants to say something instead she shakes her head "We are cheering for the gals in the blue jersey's" she says

Spencer grabs a bottle of water and sits down to watch the game. She surprised to find that she was having a good time. Listening to Maddy go on and on about her current flame of the month and love of her life. Maddy loves the idea of being in love, but lacks the ability to remain faithful or committed.

"When are you going to settle down with one of your great loves?" She says while laughing.

"Oh I don't know, there are just too many beautiful people in the world"

She laughs and just shakes her head, knowing that by beautiful people Maddy doesn't discriminate male or female. "So is this current flame a guy or girl?"

"Guy." Maddy responds while undressing the chick on third base with her eyes.

"For now" She gets out while laughing. Maddy reaches over and slaps her on the arm.

"So when are you going to start looking for Mr…" she suddenly stops looking at her confused.

"What?"

"I just realized that I don't know if your flame would be a Mr. or Ms." she says turning in her chair to face her.

Spencer suddenly became interested in her water bottle. She has never told anyone of her preference, letting people assume what they wanted. All her one-night-stands happened out of town. She decides to give a vague answer "Well there isn't a flame now." she mumbles out hoping that Maddy will drop it. Of course she didn't.

"I know that, but if there was?"

She answers partly because she feels guilty for not hanging out more and partly because she knows her friend won't judge.

"It would be an Ms."

"I knew it! Let's play _I would sleep with her game!_"

"I have to use the restroom first. Where is it at?" Maddy gives her directions while scanning the crowd looking for the perfect match for Spencer.

Spencer decides to take the long way back to where Maddy is, hoping she forgets about the pick a bed buddy game. As she is walking, she glances at the team on the field, she is walking past and immediately freezes her eyes landing on the tall brunette playing shortstop. That can't be her "please don't let it be her" she whispers to herself. As if the girl heard Spencer she slowly turns her head, instantly locking eyes with her.

She's completely shocked the second she made eye contact with the short stop everything else vanished. She did not hear the people yelling duck, did not see the baseball flying directly at her. She did however feel the ball smack her in the head "Shit" was all she could say before her world went black.

She felt someone shaking her, a voice from the past saying her name. "No No No this cannot be happening again" She pleaded in her head. Refusing to open her eyes, the memory fills her mind of the first day she saw the girl.

**_20 years ago: age 7_**

_Spencer sighed as she watched the group of girls taking the field. She had always wanted to play softball, but it would never happen. Mother would never spend money on her when there was alcohol to buy. _

_She was just about to continue walking home so that she wouldn't be late in fear of the punishment that would come. When she spotted a girl on the field, she could not take her eyes off the girl. Unsure about why the girl captivated her. She had brown hair pulled into a pony tail, was throwing a softball with another girl. The girl looked at her and when their eyes met her world froze. They were the brightest brown eyes that she had ever seen. The brown-eyed girl was yelling something at her but none of her senses seem to work. She remained frozen, until her world went black. _

_The first thing she became aware of was the throbbing of her head, quickly followed by the feel of someone shaking her and talking. She slowly opened her eyes and saw the bright brown eyes looking at her. _

_"Hey you okay?"_

_"Yes, I'm fine" She tried to set up, flinching at the pain. She was finally able to set up, shaking her head trying to clear the fog. "What happened?"_

_"You were smacked by a ball and knocked unconscious. You really should pay attention."_

_She stood up aware that she really needed to get home "Well thanks, I need have to go" dusting herself off and starting to walk home. _

_"Hey wait!" the brown-eyed girl yelled, running to catch up to her "Let me walk with you, to make sure you make it home."_

_"No that's okay." she walks faster not wanting the brown-eyed girl to know where she lived. _

_"Well I'm coming anyway. That was a nasty hit you took. My name is Ashley." _

_Spencer continues to walk as if she didn't hear anything that the girl said, not knowing why this girl made her so nervous._

_"Well?" she says bringing her out of her thoughts._

_"Well what?"_

_"What's your name?"_

_"Spencer"_

_The rest of the walk was in silence when they reach her house; she went inside without ever looking back. _

"Spence, Spence" The voice continues, Spencer slowly starts to open her eyes, immediately looking into the bright brown eyes of the girl she hasn't seen in years. Groaning out loud as the pain in her head makes itself known, she sets up shaking her head trying to clear the fog.

Hearing the other girl giggle she turns to look at her "We have to stop meeting this way." Ashley says with an amused look.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello again, as always thanks for reading. After some really good advice I have went back through and did some editing to the 3 chapters that I posted so far. So I'm resubmitting the updated chapters. I'm also working on Ch. 4 and that should be up sometime this morning. **

**Please continue to review! =)**

Chapter 3

Ashley helps her stand up, as soon as, Spencer is on her feet she steps away from her. The shock of seeing the brown-eyed girl is fading and the anger and hurt is taking its place. She starts walking away without a word.

"Hey, Spence wait up!" Ashley follows as she continues to walk. The other girl catches up, grabbing her arm "Will you stop for a minute?"

"No." She jerks her arm away and continues to walk.

She has no choice but to let her go, her team is taking the field. She makes sure she tracks the blonde, so she knows where to find her after the game. When she sees the blonde sit down, she runs back to the field.

Ashley played her worst game ever; distracted by the blonde from her past. She was busy keeping her eye on the blonde making sure she didn't leave the park before she could to talk to her she missed every fly ball that came her way. Kyla who was the teams coach was yelling at her from the dugout, pulled her from the game. Ashley noticed that Spencer and the girl she was with were starting to collect their things, she let Kyla know that she needs to take care of something and ran out of the dugout.

She had just reached the two girls overhearing their conversation "Admit it you had fun today." the dark-haired girl was saying. "No" Spencer replied with a slight smile.

"Oh come on; just say it once I had fun today. I promise I won't tell anyone." She said in a whisper

"Fine." She looked around dramatically, not seeing Ashley and whispered "I had fun today."

"O.M.G! Call the presses, Spencer had fun day!" The dark hair girl yelled for everyone around them to hear. Spencer smacked her arm laughing "So much for keeping your promises." The dark hair girl was about to respond when Ashley could no longer hide her curiosity "Does she not have fun often?" Madison noticed that Spencer froze and the playful smile she had two seconds ago gone. The dark hair girl stepped between Spencer and Ashley in a protective way "Who are you?"

"I'm Ashley, an old friend of Spencer's."

"I'm Madison, a current friend of Spencer's."

Ashley was about to respond when Spencer found her voice "You are anything but a friend!" she snaps. Turning to Madison "Thank you, I had fun today I'll text you later" gathering her stuff and heads towards her car.

Ashley steps around Madison giving a quick nice to meet you, as she follows the blonde. Spencer pops her trunk and is throwing her belonging in when she reaches her. She goes to stand next to the driver side door. When Spencer shuts the trunk she sees her "Move."

"Not until you talk to me for a minute."

"Move now."

"No"

They stand there staring at each other one with anger in her eyes, the other with confusion. "I'm not moving until you talk to me"

"What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want to know how you've been. I want to know why you disappeared when we were younger. I want to catch up." she took a step towards Spencer stopping herself just before she reached out to take her hand.

The blonde took a step back "I've been good, I had my reasons, and not until hell freezes over. Now move!" She pushes past her and gets in the car. Ashley is standing there shocked watching as the girl from her past, the girl who meant the world to her drives away.

"What the hell was that?" Someone says from behind her. She turns around to see the girl who Spencer was with glaring at her. "I'm not sure" she answers, not knowing why Spencer reacted the way she did to seeing her.

Madison and Ashley stand there staring at each other, neither quite sure what to say when a horn shakes them out of their personal thoughts. "You said you were an old friend of Spencer's, telling from Spencer's reaction to seeing you I'm guessing it didn't end on good terms."

"I'm not sure how or why it ended at all." she responds barely loud enough for Madison to hear. Just then her phone rings, she glances at the caller ID "Excuse me this is my new boss, I have to take this."

"Ashley Davies is speaking." she answers the phone as she watches Madison head back to the spot where her belonging are. Ashley is barely listening to her boss on the other end lost in her thoughts and not wanting to lose track of Madison "You will be shadowing my best case worker Spencer Carlin"

"Wait what!" She yells into the phone, sure that she has mistaken her boss.

Her boss pauses "Which part, the coming in next week to finish paperwork, or the following my best case worker"

"The part about the case worker, did you say Spencer Carlin?"

"Yes. She is the best. She tends to work late so next week when you come in to finish up your paperwork you will get the chance to meet her."

"Does she know that I will be shadowing her?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"Umm, well no. She won't be happy about it as she likes to work alone. She is the best however and I would like you trained by the best. I will wait until right before you start to let her know. No worries though she will be nothing but professional with you. Well see you next week."

She says good-bye, hanging up her phone "I doubt she will be anything but professional" she mumbles as she heads towards Madison. More determined than ever to get Spencer's number no way is she walking into that office without giving her a heads up.

Ashley had to beg Madison for Spencer's phone number. Madison gave it to her mumbling something about "Spencer's never going to talk to me again and if you hurt her I will kill you."

"Thank you." When Ashley got in her car she leans back in the seat, closing her eyes, and picturing the blonde as the eight year old girl who she first talked to sitting on the tree in the creek.

**_20 years ago: age 7_**

_It had been a couple of days since she had first met Spencer. She was walking home from softball practice, taking a shortcut through the creek. She was thinking about the blue eye girl, something about the girl made her want to protect her. Maybe it was the sadness she saw when she looked into the girl's eyes. Lost in her thoughts that she almost didn't see the girl who had consumed her thoughts sitting on the log she kicked some rocks not wanting to startle the girl. When the girl wiped her face with her sleeve Ashley knew that she was crying._

_"Spencer?" she said _

_"Yes" Spencer tried to hide the fact that she was crying but Ashley heard it in her voice. _

_"Are you okay?"_

_"Yes" she choked out. _

_Ashley climbed up the tree and sat down next to her. The girl turned so that she could not see her face. Ashley does not say a word, she just sits there quietly, after a while she hears the silent sobs that the girl tries to hide. She slides closer to her putting her arm around her waist, hoping that she knows that she is there. _

_Ashley is not sure how long they sat there, the blonde's tears slowed and then stop the sun is dropping below the trees "Spencer what is wrong?" she doesn't respond she just turns farther away from her. _

_"Spencer please just look at me." _

_Spencer doesn't move, so she reaches over and turns her face to face her. Spencer see's the shocked look on her face; and knows the bruises must already look bad. _

_"What happened?"_

_She just looks at her for a long moment, when quietly she says "Can you keep a secret?" Ashley nods her head yes, so she continues "I was punished."_

_"Punished? For what? From who?" she says confused._

_"I don't know, Mother." The blonde says, holding the fresh tears from falling._

The sound of a car horn brought her out of the memory. She smiles thinking how that day was the beginning of daily talks in the creek. They would talk about everything; she was eleven days older than Spencer. Some days the blonde would have a new bruise or be sore; she would try to talk her into letting her tell someone. Spencer was too afraid to tell, Ashley didn't want to lose her friend kept her promise and didn't tell. Setting on that tree in the creek that summer the girls became best friends.

She picked up her phone hoping that Spencer would answer her call, but knowing that she wouldn't, Ashley dials the blonde's number. After four rings it when to voicemail, where she left a message

_"Hello Spencer, This is Ashley I'm not sure why you are angry at me. Please call me back; I need to talk to you." _She hangs up the phone, hoping that she would return her call.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello again, Well here is Chapter 4. Thanks for reading. As always please review, any constructive criticism is appreciated. =)**

Chapter 4

It had been a little over a week since Spencer ran into Ashley. The brown-eyed girl had called every night at about eight o'clock; Spencer never answered the phone just letting the call go to voicemail where she would always leave a message, which she had deleted without listening to. However, last night she listened to the voicemail instead of listening to the voice in her head telling her not to.

The pleading voice almost sounded desperate "Please Spence talk to me. I've missed you and have thought about you daily since you disappeared ten years ago. I also have something I need to talk to you about. Please call me back."

"Why did I listen to that damn message?" she says out loud to herself after listening to it, she couldn't get the sound of the brown-eyed girls voice out of her head nor could she ignore the way hearing her nickname said again had an effect on her. Ashley was the one who had ever called her Spence while they were kids after Ashley betrayed her, she corrected anyone who tried to shorten her name. She tossed and turned all night long, causing her to oversleep this morning, and now she was running late to work. Her boss won't say anything to her, she stays late so often that her boss will be glad she is coming in late.

She works for the Department of Child Services. If she can save one child from going through what she did then maybe her past would have meaning. She had an advantage over her co-workers, she knew what to say and not say to kids who are abused. The kids migrated towards her, maybe they recognized the ghost in her eyes, knew that she was one of them. She pulled into the parking lot, looking for a place to park. After parking she grabbed her bag and got out of the car. Spencer lost in thought, going over her schedule, and getting her computer ready for the day. When Madison suddenly popped up from the other side of the cubicle wall "So who is Ashley?" she pipes out loudly, startling the blonde from her thoughts.

"Geez Maddy, you're like a pop-up book from hell."

"Oh someone has jokes, who is Ashley?"

"Welcome back from vacation Maddy." She ignores her question having been able to avoid them all week due to her friend being on vacation.

"I know you have ignored my calls and texts, you are not going to avoid my question now."

"I've been ignoring your calls and texts because I don't want to answer the twenty questions that you are going to ask. Speaking of calls and text, please do not give my phone number out to people without asking me first."

Madison has a guilty expression "Spencer I'm sorry, she just looked so desperate. So who is she?"

She doesn't respond, instead she attempts to look busy by typing away at her computer. Maddy cannot see the screen, otherwise she would see Go Away Maddy typed over and over. Just when Maddy is about to say something her phone rings "Saved by the bell" Spencer cheers in her head.

Maddy gives her a look that says she's not free yet than answers her phone. Spencer is thankful that at least for now she is free. She starts typing her report from a case that closed. The child reunified with her mother, she hopes that the mother can stay strong and not let the guy back into the home. Not paying attention to the time she's surprised when she hears her friend announce "Lunchtime" as she bounces over to my cubicle "Let's go."

"Go where."

"Spencer Carlin you are going to lunch with me and you are going to tell me who Ashley is!"

"Why am I friends with you"

"Because I don't give you a choice and you love me." She says as she links arms with her and leads them towards the elevator.

Spencer gives Madison credit she waited until their food arrived before drilling her with questions "So?"

"So what?"

"Come on Spencer, who is Ashley?"

She takes a huge bite of her sandwich stalling, she hadn't decided how much or what to say to her questions. She knows that Madison will not be happy until she gets a good answer. Spencer puts her sandwich down "Ashley was my best friend; we met when we were seven. For ten years we were inseparable. The end of junior year some rumors started going around school about me, I found out that she was the one that had started them. I transferred schools and never spoke to her again." That was true for the most part, she left out the minor detail that she didn't transfer schools; she ran away from home. Spencer also down played her relationship with the brown-eye girl. It was true that they were best friends, but they were so much more than that. They weren't lovers in the physical sense, but were in every way lovers emotionally. Giving her friend those details would just bring another round of questions that she was not ready to answer.

Madison could see the sadness in her friend's eyes so she chose not to push for details. Shocked that she had said as much as she did, knowing that the blonde was not one for details about her personal life. Just then Madison's work phone began ringing, she looked at the caller ID "Sorry Spencer this is a foster parent that is having problems with one of the kids, I have to take this call."

"Hey I know how that goes, I'll be here take your time."

Madison gets up and walks outside to take the call; she is left there with her thoughts going to brown-eyed girl.

**_13 years ago; age 14_**

_Spencer is watching Ashley storm around her room ranting about her mother taking her Nintendo away due to her getting a C in math. She is having a hard time focusing on the girl's words for some reason. Spencer found herself being fascinated by her lips; the room got quiet, which pulled her from her thoughts. She looked up to see the bright brown eyes that she loved looking at her "Spence are you listening to me?"_

_"Uh yea, of course you're right it's not fair and a C is still passing." Hoping she said the right thing having not heard what Ashley was saying in the last few minutes. _

_The other girl just smiled at her "that conversation was ten minutes ago. I was asking if you were going to go to the freshman dance at school."_

_"Oh uh no." She started tracing the pattern of the quilt on Ashley's bed not looking at her. Ashley knew why the blonde wasn't going to go to the dance; her Mother would never buy her a dress. "I have a dress you can wear." She wanted her to go. _

_"No thanks, I don't want to go."_

_Ashley went to her and grabbed her hand to hold it, causing the blonde to break out in goose bumps. Holding hands with her was nothing new to Spencer; they have held hands whenever they were alone since the first summer they met. It was a simple way that Ashley would comfort her after one of Mother's punishments, but here lately she noticed that the brown-eyed girl would take her hand anytime they were close and alone even if Spencer wasn't upset. While watching TV, while riding in the backseat of her mom's car, and for the past couple of months every morning when she would wake up they would be holding hands. She also started to become aware of the feelings in her stomach when they touched, and now this fascination with her lips. _

_"Spencer?" her name said softly_

_She looked from Ashley's lips to her eyes, blushing when she realized that she was caught staring at her lips. The look in the other girl's eyes was anything but teasing; they just sat there holding hands, staring into each other eyes. Spencer's eyes opened wide when she watches as the brown-eye girl look at her lips and then start to lean in "she going to kiss me" she thought to herself. _

_"Ash" was all she said softly closing her eyes. When Ashley's lips touched her it was like nothing she had felt before, butterflies were released in her stomach and she swore they were going to find a way out. The kiss was shy and soft, one simple kiss. _

_When the kiss ended both girls opened their eyes, waiting to see what the other was going to do. They sat there for what seemed like forever when Ashley was able to find her voice first "was that okay, are we okay?"_

_Spencer thought for a moment before replying "yes, but." She hesitated not sure how to say what she was thinking. _

_"But what?" _

_"But, I want to do it again."_

_Spencer saw the look of relief that crossed the other girls face as she said "so do I" while leaning in to kiss her again._

_This time the kiss started out shy, but when Spencer felt Ashley's hand on her face caressing her face all fear left. She deepens the kiss pulling the brown-eyed girl closer to her. That night the kisses they shared remained shy, as the nights went by the shyness gave way to passion. _

"Earth to Spencer."

"Huh, what?"

"Where did you go?"

"Nowhere."

Uh huh what were you thinking about?"

"Nothing, why?" she looked anywhere but at her friend worried that Madison would read her thoughts.

"I have never seen you smile that way before, anyway I have to run the foster parent had to call the police due to the child being violent. We will talk later." Madison said while they paid their tab and headed for the door. Spencer returned to work, making an effort to not think of the brown-eyed girl. Which she found with great frustration easier said than done.

She was wrapping up her work for the day; as usual she was the last one at the office besides her boss Aiden. She shut down her computer when he called out to her "Spencer can you step into my office for a minute?" She sighed as she stood to walk to his office thinking she was about to receive another lecture about staying at work so late.

"Hey boss, what's up?" She says as she makes herself comfortable on the couch in his office. He is sifting through the piles of reports on his desk without looking up "we have a new case worker starting tomorrow."

"Okay so what does this have to do with me?"

He holds up a file hiding behind it "I want her to shadow you for a few weeks." He says in a rush.

She glares at him "You know I prefer to work alone. Not to mention I'm overwhelmed with my cases, I don't have time showing a rookie how things are done."

He glances at her from over the file folder "she's not a rookie, she' a transfer from a different county. I just want you to show her our procedures, she will know the rest."

"That's even worse; trying to teach someone something when they already have their own ways. Haven't you heard the phrase can't teach an old dog, new tricks_? _Have her follow Madison, she is good."

"Yes she is, but you are our best. I would like for her to learn from the best." He puts the file down and looks her in the eyes.

"I don't have a choice do I?"

"No, I'm sorry you don't and she is coming soon to finish filling out paperwork so you will get to introduce yourself."

As if on cue the elevator dings, Spencer and Aiden get up to meet the person arriving. She looks up just as Ashley is stepping into the office. Aiden oblivious to the tension between the women begins the introductions "Spencer Carlin this is Ashley Davies."

"Oh hell no." Spencer interrupts as she shoves past the brown eye girl. Ashley turns to follow her leaving Aiden standing alone and confused in his office. Spencer grabs her bag and heads towards the elevator, slamming the elevator button.

"Spencer, hang on a second."

She ignores her slamming the button again.

"Spence" she begins to say "Don't call me that." The blonde interrupts through clenched teeth as the elevator opens. She storms inside with Ashley following her. She holds the door open "Get out"

"No, not until you talk to me."

Spencer is still holding the elevator door "Did you know that I worked here?"

"No, not at first."

"When did you find out?"

"The day of the softball game, Aiden called to arrange a day for me to finish up paperwork and let me know that I would be shadowing his best case worker Spencer Carlin."

"You didn't think to say something?"

"I tried to tell you, why do you think I left so many messages about needing to talk to you about something, I was trying to give you a heads up."

Spencer walked off the elevator and back into Aiden's office, he was still standing in the same spot that he was when she stormed out "Have her shadow someone else."

He snapped out of his confusion "So I take it you two know each other"

"Yes, so have her shadow Madison."

He shakes his head, "She will be following you."

She glares at Ashley "Fine, don't be late and don't plan on talking about anything that is not work related." She growls as she storms out of the office.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! Here is Ch. 5, I'm going to try to get Ch. 6 uploaded tonight as well, no promises though. As always thanks for reading and reviews are greatly appreciated. =)**

Chapter 5

Ashley walked into her apartment, exhausted she was planning on getting some unpacking done when she got home, but after her run in with the blonde she was exhausted just wanting to shower and get ready for bed. The unpacking will have to wait till later.

She was climbing in bed thinking about Spencer which has been the only thing on her mind since running into the blonde at the ball diamonds. Confused about why the blonde was so angry at her as she has done many times over the last ten years, she thinks back to the last time she had seen her.

**_10 years ago; age 17_**

_Ashley emptied the remaining contents of her locker into her book bag, it was the last day of school, she was a senior and she was looking forward to summer. She smiled as thoughts of her best friend entered her mind; they were more than best friends. To the world they were best friends, when they were alone, they were well Ashley didn't quite know what they were. _

_Ashley thought back to the night before, Spencer had spent the night just like almost every night for the last few years. She would sneak into her window at night after her parents were asleep, sometimes she would be so sore from a punishment that her mother felt that she deserved that she could hardly lift herself through the window. She would lie down on the bed not saying a word; the brown-eyed girl would just lie next to her, holding her until she cried herself to sleep. _

_Spencer would always wake up and sneak back out the window before her parents were awake in the morning about four years ago during breakfast her mom was looking at her "What mom?"_

_"Tell Spencer to use the door when she comes over."_

_She stared at her mom "huh, what do you mean."_

_"Ashley I know that girl has sneaked in and out of your window for almost three years now. I also know that she doesn't have a good home life. Is there anything you want to talk about?"_

_She stares at her mom wishing she could tell, wishing she could help her friend get away from her mother, to stop the pain that she has to go through as much as she wanted to tell her mom she had promised her that she wouldn't tell "No mom, she just doesn't have very good parents. Thanks for letting her stay." _

_"She is always welcome here Ashley, makes sure she knows that." Her mom hugs her placing a kiss on her head "If you ever need to talk, I'm here." After that morning Spencer has spent most nights at her house always using the front door. _

_Ashley grabs her bag heading to the parking lot looking forward to meeting the blonde and starting their summer. She knows that summer is not Spencer's favorite time, school is an escape for the blonde it's a break from the games her mother likes to play. This summer however was going to be different, her mom told her this morning that it would be okay for Spencer to stay at their house this summer. That she didn't have to sneak out each morning. Ashley made it to the parking lot walking to her car looking for the other girl they were going to meet at the car. Surprised to find that Spencer wasn't there yet Ashley scanned the parking lot and saw the blonde walking her way; she started to smile and walk to meet her. _

_Her smile faded when she saw the look on Spencer face the only way she could describe it was hurt and anger "What's wrong Spence." To her surprise Spencer didn't even look at her just walked right past her like she wasn't there. She turned to follow her "Hey Spence" she reached out and grabbed the blonde's hand. Spencer jerked her hand away and spun to face her "Don't touch me." shocked to see the hate in her eyes. _

_"Spencer what is going on?"_

_"How could you? I thought I could trust you, I thought you cared about me!?_

_She just stared at Spencer trying for to figure out what the blonde was talking about "I do care about you more than you know; I don't understand what is wrong." _

_"Don't try to pretend you didn't say anything, how else would she had known about my punishments, about us?"_

_"What? Who? She is able to say. Not having any clue what she is talking about. Just then Spencer's brother Glen drives by the blonde waves him down "Hey give me a ride home." He just nods his head as she climbs in "Hey Spence, wait." Ashley reaches out for her again. _

_The blonde climbs in the car glaring at her "Goodbye Ashley" she turns to Glen "Let's go."_

_Ashley stands there watching the car leave the parking lot. "What the hell just happened?" She turns and heads to her car planning on going to her as soon as she can to find out what is going on. _

_Three hours later she is able to go to Spencer's, not able to leave sooner due to her baby sister and her mom arriving home later than planned from work. As soon as her mom is in the door she runs out yelling "Going to Spencer's." Ashley took the shortcut through the creek to get to Spencer's house. She knocks on the door and when Glen answers she says in a rush "Is Spencer home?"_

_"I don't think she wants to talk to you."_

_She pushes past Glen "I don't care; I need to talk to her."_

_"Whatever." he says as he shuts the door._

_She goes straight to Spencer's bedroom, she knocks on the door. When she doesn't get an answer she says through the door "Spence it's me." Still no answer, she slowly turns the door knob and pushes the door open. Spencer's room is small and clean compared to the rest of the house. She notices right away that the blonde is not in her room, she walks in looking around when she notices that Spencer dresser drawers are open and most of her clothes are gone and her bedroom window is open. She looks at Spencer's bed and sees a folded piece of paper on her pillow, she picks it up and reads it her heart breaking and tears coming to her eyes. The note is one simple sentence:_

_I won't be back. –Spencer_

That was the last day that she had seen Spencer and to this day she is just as confused about why the other girl was so angry at her, why she disappeared and never contacted her, and why she was still angry.

"What the hell happened?" she says out loud before closing her eyes to sleep not wanting to be late tomorrow.

Ashley is awake, showered, dressed, and out of the house in record time arriving to work an hour early drinking her coffee savoring the smell and taste as the elevator took her up to the office. She wanted to arrive to work early hoping to be there before Spencer even though she wasn't sure why. When the elevator opened she walked off heading towards Spencer cubicle preparing to face her. She rounded the corner and slammed right into someone spilling her coffee down the front of both of them.

"Hot!" Both Ashley and the person she ran into said at the same time, pulling their shirts away from their skin. She looked up and saw the blonde looking back at her with an amused look on her face "Well you always did like to make an entrance."

"Spencer, I'm so sorry" she begins to apologize when Spencer holds up her hand stopping her. "It's no big deal; I have an extra shirt in my desk, I have one that will fit you as well." She turns to walk back to her desk, opening the drawer revealing a dozen or so shirts. She finds a shirt that will fit Ashley and throws it to her. Ashley catches the shirt raising an eyebrow "Do you always keep clothes in your desk?"

"Never know when you are going to need a new shirt, baby spits up, kid throws up, tears, or people coming around corners spilling coffee on you." She starts to apologize again when Spencer walks past her "Follow me to the bathroom so we can change."

They had been working for three hours when Aiden stops by to see how things are going "How are you guys doing?" Spencer answers without taking her eyes off the computer "We're fine." Ashley gives him a nod, he watches for a few seconds "Ashley I have a couple more forms that Human Resources needs you to sign, when you get a minute stop by my office."

"No problem." She goes back to watching Spencer wondering if they are going to talk and stop acting like co-workers who just met. So far Spencer has been nothing but professional with her steering clear of anything personal.

At lunch time Ashley stands and stretches "Lunchtime, want to go get something to eat."

"No" She says without stopping from typing the report she was writing.

"Want me to bring you something back."

"No"

"Do you plan on eating?"

"I brought lunch my lunch from home today."

Ashley decided to sit outside for lunch enjoying the breeze and sunlight, her morning with Spencer has been different than she thought it would be. Spencer has been nice for the most part, answering questions that she may have about the job, explaining things, and even joking. She had tried a couple of times to bring up the subject of her disappearing when they were teenagers, the blonde would get a guarded look, close up, and ignore her so she just stopped bringing it up for now.

She was just getting off the elevator when Spencer was rushing toward the elevator bag in hand. "What's going on?"

"A domestic violence was called in by the police." They are there making the arrest, and called us due to there being a minor. I don't have much information other than it's a one year old. Want to ride along?"

"Definitely let me grab my bag real quick." She hurried off while Spencer held the elevator waiting for her.

The drive across town was a silent one when they arrived at the address she looked at Spencer "I'll just let you take the lead."

Spencer just nodded, taking a deep breath and getting out of the car, she followed. Spencer found the officer who appeared to be in control and introduced herself "Hello, I'm Ms. Carlin from DCS."

The officer looked relieved "Hello, follow me." He led the women into the house, entering the house took her breath, the house was filthy, beer cans and trash everywhere it smelled of booze and stale cigarettes. The sound of a baby crying was coming from the back of the house, when they entered the bedroom there was an officer trying to comfort the baby who was screaming and thrashing around. Spencer looked at her handing her the car keys "Will you go out to the car and in the trunk is a bunch of stuffed bears. Will you bring me one?" she nodded and took the keys exiting the house; she grabbed a brown bear returning to the bedroom.

The blonde took the bear and walked towards the baby talking to him "Hello Ryan I'm Spencer would you like a bear?" They baby looked at her and then at the bear reaching out his chubby hand to grab the bear. She continued to talk to him "You are okay buddy" Ashley stood there amazed when Ryan reached out and went to Spencer laying his head on her shoulder, holding his bear tight, and closed his eyes falling asleep. She just continued to talk to him and rock back and forth.

It was past five when the two women made it back to the office, Ryan was in a foster home, his parents were in jail, and Spencer was able to get all the detail she was going to get at this time. It would be a long and lengthy process before Ryan would be reunified with his parents both drugs and alcohol was involved.

Ashley was busy collecting her things off of Spencer's desk when she looked up to find the blonde staring at her. She recognized the pain and sadness in her blue eyes, Ashley stood there looking back at her debating on whether to take the woman in her arms and hold her like she would when they were kids and Spencer had that look in her eyes. Just as she was about to take a step forward the blonde shook her head coming out of whatever thought she had been in and began to log on to her computer "Spence it's after five it's time to go home."

"Please don't call me that. You can go I just want to finish up on a few things first." she sat down at her desk not looking back at her.

She stood there for a second not sure if she should stay or go; she was to shadow Spencer if she was staying than she thought she better stay too. Just as she was about to put her bag down Spencer spoke up "Ashley you can go home, I always work late, you don't have to stay" never once looking at her. She stood there another few seconds "Good-bye Spence, See you tomorrow." All she said in return was "don't call me that please." Ashley just walked elevator, wondering if she was ever going to tell her what she did to make the blonde hate her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so here is Ch. 6. **

**Also don't worry we will find out exactly what Ashley did to anger Spencer, I'm just not sure when or how yet. =)**

**As always thanks so much for reading, and all reviews are appreciated. =)**

Chapter 6

It was after eight when Spencer walked through her front door wanting nothing more than something to eat and a hot shower. She walked into the kitchen and popped a freezer meal into the microwave. She leaned against the counter rubbing her forehead all cases were tough but today was draining. There were to many similarities to her childhood a drunken mom yelling and cussing, the smell of the house, and Ashley. She had no idea that having her there would affect her as much as it did. She had always been her safe place when things were bad she would run to Ashley's. Even at a young age, she always seemed to know what she needed, whether it was someone to just listen as she talked, a shoulder to cry on, or just being there not talking not touching.

**_16 years ago; age 10_**

_She hid in the basement rubbing her sore muscles refusing to let the tears fall that were pooling in her eyes; Mother had spent the last 15 minutes kicking and stomping her while she lay on the floor. It was the middle of the afternoon Mother had been drinking since Spencer's dad left for work. Just when she thought she was going to pass out from the pain her dad walked through the door. He had decided to come home early today when her dad walked in and saw Mother kicking her he rushed to pull Mother away from her. Holding her arms while Mother turn to lash out at him, he could smell the alcohol on her breath "Spencer get out of here" he said to the girl while he wrestles Mother to the floor. _

_She got up and ran as fast as she could down stairs she hid under the stairs, she could hear Mother yelling at her dad, things breaking as they were being thrown across the house. After what felt like forever, she heard the sirens her dad must have called the cops, it's not the first time they have been to the house. She could hear the cops entering the house than Mother crying, telling the cops that dad hit her for no reason. When the cops ask Mother how much she's had to drink, she goes into a blind rage yelling at the cop, trying to hit dad. The cops drag her out of the house, the blonde climbs up the stairs, and goes out the back door. Spencer hides on the side of the house watching the cops tried to wrestle Mother into the squad car. The neighbors are standing on their porches watching as this is not a new scene for them either. _

_Just as the cops are about to get Mother in the car she turns and looks right at me "Spencer honey tell them it's his fault, you don't want them to take me away." She pleads until the cops close the car door. Spencer is staring at her mom who is glaring back at her from the car while the cops talk to my dad. I overhear my dad saying "I came home early from work, I walked in and she started attacking me." The cop is making notes "Sir did you hit her?" _

_"No sir, I just pinned her down and blocked her from hitting and clawing me." he shows him the claw marks on his hands and arms. The cops ask a few more questions, take pictures of his arms, and give him the report number so he can press charges. I'm watching Mother as she is now trying crying again "I have to pee, please let me in the house to pee." The cops get her out of the car and set her on the ground "You are not going back in the house if you have to pee you will have to do it here." Mother glares at them and pisses her pants. They pick her up and put her back in the car she tries pleading with Spencer one last time "Spencer baby, you know mommy loves you, let the cops know that." She does not move or say anything the cops get in the car and as they are pulling away Mother sends her a glare she knows the punishment for not saying anything will be bad. _

_Dad walks around the side of the house and sees her standing there, the pain and sadness in her eyes breaks his heart. He kneels down in front of her not touching her "Spencer, you know why I didn't tell the cops about her hitting you right." She nods her head yes, while saying "They will take me away if they knew."_

_"Honey I'm going to talk to a lawyer again and see if I can win a custody battle with her okay." _

_She just nods again, knowing not to get her hopes up, every time he goes to talk to a lawyer the answers are the same, mom will win custody, and you will not be able to see them so he stays married to Mother so that he doesn't lose custody of the kids. _

_"What do you want Spencer?" he asks holding back the tears _

_"I want to go to Ashley's house."_

_"You may go" He wouldn't have refused her anything at that moment seeing the sadness in her eyes. She took off at a sprint heading towards the creek to take the shortcut to her friend's house. She went to the bedroom window to see if the brown-eyed girl was in her room, she didn't want to knock on the front door and have her mom answer. Ashley was sitting on her floor playing Mario Kart on Nintendo 64 she tapped on the window and her head snapped up meeting the blonde's eyes. Ashley knew the second she looked at her that something had happened, she got up, opened the window, and helped her climb through noting the way she moves that she must have received another punishment from Mother. _

_She ran to the kitchen coming back with an ice pack, she always made sure there were a couple frozen in the freezer. The blonde took the ice pack, placing it on her side "Thanks"_

_"Wanna talk?"_

_"No." She got out before the tears that she was holding back broke through. Ashley walked her over to her bed, guiding her sit down so she could remove her shoes, then laying her back on the bed, placing the ice pack back on her side, and then laying down behind her wrapping her arms around the blonde making sure she didn't hurt her. She just laid there holding her while she cried, not saying a word just being there to hold her until her breathing even out and she knew that she fell asleep, and she continued to lay there and hold the blonde falling asleep herself. _

The microwave started beeping letting her know that her food was ready, she took her food to the kitchen table and sat down. She still couldn't believe that she had about walked into Ashley's arms after they returned to the office this afternoon. Shocked to find that she wanted to feel the comfort that the brown-eyed girl would always give while Ashley was collecting her stuff she had about walked right into her arms. When the other woman looked up, she saw the love and comfort that were always there when Ashley looked at her. Spencer snapped out of her thoughts when Ashley started to take a step towards her. She sat down at her desk and began to log on to her computer, sliding her chair as close to her desk as she could.

Relieved when she heard the elevator doors shut, knowing that she was alone, she was able to breathe for the first time all day. Spencer did not want to think about her or her reaction to having her near, so instead she immersed herself in her report on Ryan making sure all the facts were correct for the fact-finding hearing, submitting for the clothing voucher, and typing up reunification plan. Working nonstop Spencer only stopped when her stomach growled so loud she was sure the people on the first floor could hear it.

She cleaned up her dinner and headed upstairs to shower to get ready for bed, she wanted to get to work early tomorrow. Tomorrow is the end of the week meeting; Aiden will want updated on all the new cases that we picked up during the week as well as status for some of our older cases. She always arrived to work early anyway, but on meeting days she likes to get there even earlier to make sure all her reports was up to date and correct.

The next morning she arrives to work and begins preparing for the meeting, she finds and opens the email that Aiden had sent out letting everyone know what current cases he wanted updated on in addition to the new cases this week. She had two current cases on her work load that he wanted updates on; the first case was a sibling group of two brothers, one six and the other eight. They have been in foster care for six months; removed from the home after the mother got pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence. The mother completed her 60 days in jail, has been going to all AA meetings, and meeting every other goal agreed upon with the reunification plan. She has been having overnight visits three nights a week as long as things keep going the way they are she will ask the judge at the next court hearing in a month to agree to supervised reunification. The children will move back with their mom, but the mom will still have to continue working on the plan and she will do drop by visits to check how things are going.

The second case was a three-year old girl who has been in foster care for a year and three months. Removed from the home when police got a tip of a meth lab in the home, when the police raided the home they found the girl alone in a room crying. The father is still in prison after admitting the meth lab was his, the mother served six months for child neglect and endangerment. She has been out of now for a year and has not attempted to meet any of the goals agreed upon in the reunification plan. She has supervised visits that she fails to show for, she is not reporting to parenting or drug classes, and she has yet to give a clean drug screen. At the next court hearing in three months she will be asking for termination of parental rights, if the judge agrees than the little girl will be placed for adoption.

Just as she began to check all the cases, making sure the reports were up to date she heard the ding of the elevator she glanced at the clock it was an hour and a half before anyone was scheduled to report to the office she assumed it was Aiden arriving besides her he was the only other one that came in early voluntarily.

"Did you go home last night?"

Spencer spun in her chair to see the brown-eyed girl standing there holding two cups of coffee "yes I did; I just like getting here early." Ashley handed her one of the coffee cups along with a paper sack.

"It's just cream and sugar" she answers when she notices her looking at the sack "I didn't know how you like your coffee."

"I take my coffee black but thank you."

"So just how early what time did you come in here this morning?" she sits down in the extra chair, pulling her notebook out her bag to take notes on.

"I've been here about twenty minutes. Why are you so early?"

"Uh couldn't sleep." She says trying to hide the fact that she wanted to arrive to work before the blonde. Spencer could see the truth on her face and smirked "I don't normally come in THIS early, except on Friday's when we have our morning meeting."

Ashley asked what the morning meeting was for she spent the rest of the time showing her how she gets ready for the meetings, explaining to her what Aiden would expect during the meetings. She updated her on the current cases that he wanted updates on as well as letting her read the report she had completed the night before on Ryan.

"Well I know why he says you are the best; you are very organized in your reports. Do you mind if I keep a copy as a guide for when I'm making my own reports?"

"Sure"

Aiden stepped out of his office "meeting starts in five minutes in the boardroom." The two women started gathering their things heading to the boardroom, as they walked into the boardroom Ashley spotted a coffee pot in the corner of the room "oh thank everything" she went straight to the coffee pot. Having one cup a day was not cutting it as soon as she got her own cubicle she planned on bringing her own coffee maker. Spencer watched as she went towards the coffee pot, she knew Aiden had made that pot and that it would be like drinking tar. She thought about warning her, but decided it would be funnier to watch her reaction. Ashley poured a glass not noticing that every pair of eyes in the room was watching her, to everyone surprised she took a big drink, smiled and let out a very content sigh.

"This sure is a good pot of coffee." she said to the room as she took the seat next to Spencer.

Aiden was beaming from ear to ear "someone who recognizes a good pot of coffee."

Spencer stared at her like she had a third eye "tell me you're joking." she looked at the blonde with such a look of contentment that she knew she wasn't. She was about to say something when Aiden started the meeting. After about two hours Aiden began to assign the new case-loads to case workers, the last case getting assigned was Ryan's. "I will be assigning the Jackson case to you Ashley" hearing her name she looked up from the notes she was writing down. Aiden continued "since Spencer was the one to start the case she will be familiar with it to help you if you need."

"Shouldn't be a problem." She looked at Spencer for confirmation.

"I'm sure that Ashley can handle the case on her own, but I'm here to help." Relieved that the case was assigned to someone else Spencer would have minor involvement with the case helping Ashley but as she had said she believed she could handle it on her own. Normally Spencer would take any case and she would have taken this one as well, never one to turn her back on a child, but now she didn't think she could handle a case that involved a neglected baby and alcoholic parents at the moment.

"Lunchtime, want to go get something to eat?" Ashley said beside her while she was gathering her belongings.

"No."

"Want me to bring you back something?"

"No thanks, I brought my lunch from home." She said as she turns to walk out of the boardroom without looking at Ashley. The rest of the day both women worked lost in their own thoughts and both very relieved that it was Friday.


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow, I didn't think I was going to get this chapter loaded tonight. I went back through the 6 chapters I've already posted and did some serious editing. **

**Thanks again for reading and reviewing; the reviews help me know what to focus on and areas to edit. **

**Enjoy, and as always continue to leave reviews.**

Chapter 7

It was Saturday morning Ashley was pulling into the hospital parking lot feeling guilty that she hadn't come to visit her mom in a week. Three weeks ago her mom had a serious stroke, leaving her in a coma for a week and a half. Ashley lived twelve hours away when she received the call from her dad telling her that her mom was heading to the ER. Ashley broke about a million traffic laws trying to get to her mom afraid that she would be too late. She decided that day to move closer to her parents, she submitted the paperwork for the transfer, packed her belongings, and last week moved into her new apartment 10 minutes from both her parents' house and the hospital.

When she walked into the hospital room her mom was sleeping, you could see the effects the stroke had with her mom in her face. Ashley smiled, thinking she's still the most beautiful woman she has ever met. She walked over placing her mom's hand in hers. Her mother opened her eyes to look at her daughter.

"Hi mom, how are you feeling today?"

Her mom studied her daughter for a moment "I'm good, how are you?"

"I'm good."

"That's nice, now tell me the truth."

Ashley smiled at her mom, no matter how much she tried to hide her feelings from her mom the older woman always knew. "Mom you need to focus on you, not worrying about me. I'm good honest."

"Girl I'm your mother, my number one job is to worry about you. I can see that something is bothering you, written all over your face. So you can save me the time and energy of trying to pull it out of you and just tell me."

She just laughed, giving up knowing her mom wouldn't stop till she got it out "do you remember Spencer Carlin?"

"Why of course that girl nearly lived at our house for ten years, there isn't a day that has passed that I have not thought of her."

"Well you know the softball tournament I told you I was playing in last weekend." Her mom nodded her head encouraging Ashley to continue "I was in the field warming up when I felt someone looking at me. I looked up and there was Spencer mom, just standing there staring at me. I couldn't believe it, I thought I was going crazy and hallucinating."

Her mom couldn't help the tears that slid down her face in her eyes Spencer was like a second daughter to her. The blonde disappearing had not only broken Ashley's heart but her own as well. Every day since she has regretted never stepping in to help the girl, she knew things at home were bad, but it wasn't until years later when Ashley finally told her that she realized how bad things were.

"Oh honey."

"There's more." Ashley continued "You know that I transferred departments" she paused to laugh when she saw her mom roll her eyes. Her mom about had a fit when she came out of the coma and Ashley told her that she had transferred and was moving closer to her. "Anyway" she continued "I'm shadowing a case worker at the new department just until I get the hang of how they do things."

"Uh huh, and."

"The case worker is Spencer; I didn't even know she worked for the department until a week before I started."

Her mom was about to tell her how happy she was for her daughter when she saw the pain and hurt in her eyes and the tears begin to slide down her cheeks "Honey what is it?"

"Mom, she hates me. She's so angry at me that she won't even talk to me unless it is work related. I have no clue why she disappeared ten years ago and she won't talk to me about it." She choked out, letting the tears fall laying her head down on her mom.

Her mom ran her fingers through her hair shushing her thinking back to the night she realized that her daughter was falling in love.

_**12 years ago; age 15**_

_It was ten o'clock and Christine was getting ready to go to bed as she walked through the house, making sure the lights were off, leaving the entry light on and checking the front door making sure it was unlocked. She smiled when she thought of her daughter and her friend Spencer. The girls have been best friends since they were seven, Spencer has sneaked in and out of her daughter's window for about three years until one morning a year ago she told her daughter to have her friend use the front door. The shocked look on Ashley's face was priceless "like I wouldn't know."_

_Christine climbed into bed thinking about her daughter's friend. She knew that the girl didn't have the best home life; she has heard the blonde crying at night and her daughter comforting her. Christine has tried to get Ashley to talk to her about it but her daughter won't say anything other than saying her home life isn't great. After about thirty minutes she heard the front door open, the floor creaking as Spencer made her way to Ashley's room, and then the quiet whispers. She relaxed just then realizing that she was waiting for Spencer to come in before falling asleep. _

_She was awakened by a noise outside, she got up to use the bathroom, deciding to peak in at the girls. It was still early so she knew that Spencer would still be there. She was thinking about the girls as she walked down the hallway towards her daughter's room, she had never seen two people be closer than those girls were. She opened the door allowing the light from the hallway light up the bedroom the sight she saw took her breath away. Ashley snuggled behind Spencer with her arm wrapped protectively around the blonde holding her tight. _

_She shut the door going back to her room, not wanting to wake them. She was lying in bed thinking about the sight that she had just seen, thinking about the look that Ashley gets in her eye when she sees Spencer, the smile that crosses her daughters face when you mention the blonde. Watching them together, you would think they were one person, when one moves the other instinctively moves, they share secret smiles when they think no one is looking "it's like they are soul mates." Realizing what she had just said she sits up in bed covering her mouth with her hand, then a slow smile creeps on her face "my baby girl is falling in love" she whispered before laying back down with a smile on her face._

"I knew you were gay when you were fifteen years old." Her mother said with a laugh.

Ashley set up looking shocked "What? How? I didn't tell you until I was nineteen."

Her mom smiled "Do you keep forgetting that I am your mother? Do you not think I would know when my daughter is falling in love? I knew you loved that girl before you did. I figured that when you were ready to tell me you would, then she disappeared and you were so heartbroken I didn't want to bring it up."

"Why did you not say anything the night I told you?"

"You made this huge deal about telling me and explaining. I didn't want to take that away from you." She said laughing remembering the night that Ashley walked into her room, pale as a ghost telling her that they needed to talk. Ashley had paced back and forth in bedroom for thirty minutes, wringing her hands together, and opening and closing her mouth. Christine had patiently waited for Ashley to say out loud what she had already known for years

"Honey you are going to pace a trench in my bedroom."

"Mom, I'm gay!" Ashley blurted out bursting into tears. When she had started to apologize Christine walked up to her, held her face in her hands, looking her right in the eyes, and saying "Honey never apologize for being who you are. I don't care who you choose to love as long as you are happy." Then she wrapped her daughter in arms.

Ashley left the hospital a couple of hours later knowing her mom was getting tired and wouldn't sleep if she was there. Her mom asked her to see if Spencer would come visit her. She told her that she would ask the blonde but that she didn't think she would come. Explaining that Spencer didn't want anything personal to do with her, her mom smiled and told her to remain patient.

It was Monday morning and every muscle in Ashley's body hurt. She had spent the weekend getting unpacked she however is paying for it today. Surprised that when she walked into Spencer's cubicle and the blonde wasn't there already. Ashley logged on to the computer to check her emails and prepare for the follow-up on Ryan's case that she was going to do today. She was busy adding the new details to the report that the lawyer had emailed her over the weekend that she didn't hear Spencer walk into the cubicle "Hello"

She stopped typing, looked at the clock and turned to look at Spencer "Wow I'm impressed it's noon."

"This is my month of late nights; noon to eight. I end up staying till midnight so I don't bother coming in early." She said with a smirk.

"Gotcha, give me a second to save this and I will give you your space back."

Spencer was already walking out of the cubicle "take your time I have to go talk to the boss first."

Ashley hurried and finished what she was doing and just logging off when Spencer returned "I brought you coffee, but it is probably cold now."

"Thanks." She said as she sat down in the chair that Ashley just vacated. She turned to look at Ashley as she slowly sat in the spare chair, noticing the pain that flashed across her eyes "are you alright?"

"Yes I'm fine, just sore from unpacking all day yesterday."

Spencer nodded "So what is on your schedule for today?"

"I have to go follow-up on Ryan today, make sure he is adjusting well to the foster home. Then I am going to go visit with the parent's in jail to go over the reunification plan."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I got it. This is pretty routine stuff; it's the same no matter what county you work in."

Spencer nodded in agreement.

Ashley dragged herself back into the office five hours later feeling like a truck had hit her and then put it in reverse and ran her over again. Ryan is adjusting as well as a one year old can, considering everything that has happened. His foster mom took him to the doctor for the routine medical exam, other than being underweight for his age the doctor says he is healthy and he's right on track with his motor skills. Ryan's parents however were a different story, they were nothing but combative. She has the sinking feeling that they are not going to do any of the requirements to get their son back.

She walked into the cubicle and plopped herself down in the chair closing her eyes exhausted. Spencer glanced over at her "that rough?"

"The parents."

"They are the rough part, how is Ryan?"

"He is doing as well as expected, his foster mom is sweet."

"Yea Stacy is one of my favorites. She is always so patient and gentle with the children. Do you think this will end with reunification or termination?"

Ashley signed "I don't like choose either way, but if I had to than I would say termination. Hopefully they will prove me wrong. I'm going to step over to that empty cubicle and type up my report before heading home."

"Why don't you talk to Aiden and see if that can just be your cubicle, you already know what you are doing that you don't need to shadow me anymore. Any questions that may come up I am here to ask."

Ashley just nodded and walked towards Aiden's office. He of course said that would be fine, so Ashley was now sitting in her cubicle having just finished the last details to Ryan's case and emailing it to the department's lawyer. The fact-finding hearing scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, as of now they are requesting that the child remains a ward of the state, supervised visits with parents upon release from jail, the parents are to attend parenting and drug classes, and go six months without a positive drug screen. Ashley was sure the judge would agree to terms she however was not as hopeful that the parents would work to get him back.

She signed off the computer gathered her things and was heading to the elevator. She thought about swinging by Spencer's cubicle to say good-bye but figured that the blonde wouldn't care either way. Surprised when the elevator doors were about closed to hear Spencer saying hold the doors Ashley reached out stopping the doors from closing holds them open while Spencer rushed into the elevator.

"Thanks"

"Everything alright?"

"Yes, just got a report of possible child neglect. I'm going to go do a quick home visit."

"Do you need help?"

"No, I have a feeling it was the teenager making the anonymous report."

The rest of the ride down to the first floor was quiet Ashley was having a battle within herself on whether to do as her mom requested and ask Spencer to go visit her. She was going to go have dinner at the hospital tonight with her mom and knew that her mom would never let her off the hook if she found out she never asked. Brought out of her thoughts when the blonde asked "Why did you move here?" as they were making their way through the main lobby. It was the first personal question that Spencer had as the brown-eyed girl.

Well this is the perfect opening to asking her Ashley thought "My mom had a stroke about three weeks ago causing her to slip into a coma the doctors didn't know if she was going to make it. I lived twelve hours away when I got the call scared I wouldn't make it in time. After a little over a week she came out of the coma, she is doing better than expected. I submitted my transfer at work and moved closer to them.

"I'm so sorry, is she okay?"

"She is good; there was some slight damage to her brain due to the stroke. She is still in the hospital, going to have to start physical therapy soon." Well now or never she thought "Um so I was visiting my mom Saturday and mentioned that I had run into you, she asked me to ask you if you would stop by and see her."

She could see the battle that Spencer was having in her head on her face all she said was "I'll think about it."

"Thank you, I know she would appreciate it. She is at Methodist if you decide to go."

When they exited the building both women walked off in separate directions.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello, sorry it's been a couple of days since my last update; this chapter may go through a few changes as the story goes along. I had typed this chapter out, than my computer crashed before I saved it. So I feel like this version is rushed and all over the place but I wanted to get another chapter posted for now. **

**I also want to let everyone know this chapter has some sexual abuse towards a child in it, if you do not wish to read this than skip the flashback. **

**As always thanks so much for reading and reviewing!**

**So I went back through this and did a lot of editing, hopefully this is better. =)**

Chapter 8

Spencer's month of late nights was almost over "One more night" she moaned as she stretched at her desk. The blonde thoughts drifted to Ashley, she had not spoken to her much since the day they talked about her mom, with her being on late nights, and Ashley no longer shadowing her there wasn't much reason to talk. They would acknowledge each other in passing with a quick "hello" and "how are you" but that would be all, Spencer had the feeling that the brown-eyed girl was avoiding her. What bothered her was that she couldn't ignore the fact that she wanted to talk to Ashley. She smiled seeing the empty coffee cup on her desk, each day when she arrived to work there would be a hot cup of coffee on her desk Spencer knew without asking that it was Ashley leaving the coffee.

Spencer had also not been able to stop thinking about Christine; she battled all month on whether to go visit her. She knew that if she went that there would be questions she didn't want to answer, but she also missed the women who she used to wish was her mother. Spencer sighed, not having the answers and torn about what to do. She started to log off her computer when the emergency line rang "No" she moaned ask she answered it.

"Department of Child Services, Spencer Carlin speaking, how may I help you?"

"Hello, I believe the child is being abused in the apartment next to mine." The caller said in a hesitant voice.

"When do you suspect this was happening?"

"Right now."

Spencer jerked in her seat "Right this second?"

"Yes, a lot of screaming and slamming noise and I hear a child crying is coming from the apartment next to mine."

"Did you call the police?"

"No I called you."

Spencer asked the caller for the address, thanked her for calling, and disconnected the call. She grabbed her keys and headed towards the elevator dialing the police department on her cell phone giving them the information and requesting that they meet her there. When she arrived she was thankful that the police had arrived and appeared to already have someone in custody. She grabbed a stuff bear from the trunk then started walking toward the apartment passing a squad car where a man who looked strung out on drugs was alternating between being unconscious and screaming. An officer spotted Spencer and rushed up to her "There's a little girl, maybe five hiding under the bed, she won't let any of us near her."

She followed the officer into the apartment, the floor scattered with broken glass, and she continued to follow the cop back to the bedroom. The officer pointed to the bed "She's under there, anytime we try to pull her out she panics." Spencer glared at the officer, but kept her thoughts to herself, not everyone has the same experience.

"Do you mind waiting outside?" Spencer shut the bedroom door not giving the officer a chance to respond. She made sure to keep her distance from the bed, sitting down on the floor slowly, and keeping the bear where the girl could see it. When she looked into the girl's eyes the look of fear and sadness that Spencer recognized broke her heart. "Hello I'm Spencer" she quietly said, reaching the bear out towards the girl "Would you like to hold my friend Mr. Bear?"

Spencer had sat on the floor talking to the little girl for forty-five minutes just as the girl was reaching out her hand to take the bear an officer stormed in the room "What is taking so long? Just grab her." Spencer cursed in her head, turning her head to look at the cop "I will not grab her, she's had enough hands on her tonight don't you think. Now please go." He glared at her for a moment before turning to leave the room, she drew her attention back to the girl under the bed "Do you want the bear?" she held the bear out to the girl. The girl was chewing on her bottom lip just when Spencer was about to speak again the little girl started crawling out from under the bed.

The blonde had to keep her expression neutral when the girls face came into the light, her eye was black and starting to swell, she had a swollen lip and a very distinct hand print on her left cheek. She didn't move a muscle just holding the bear out for the girl as the little blonde stood up and walked towards Spencer, who guessed the girl's age closer to three than five. The girl reached out with her left hand to take the bear and Spencer noticed that she was holding her right arm against chest "probably broken" she thought.

It was another fifteen minutes before the little girl allowed Spencer to take her hand and walk her out of the apartment. She walked right passed the officer that had stormed into the room even though he was trying to get her attention; instead speaking to first officer she spoke to when she arrived. Not wanting to say something to the other officer that would later get her in trouble.

Once the little girl Marie was admitted to the hospital for the night, Spencer told her that she would see her in the morning and was about to walk out of the room. Marie started to panic; not allowing any of the doctors or nurses to check her for injuries. Afraid that she would hurt herself more Spencer went back into the room and told her that she wouldn't leave her. Once the girl was sure that she was staying she allowed the doctors to check her.

The girl was sleeping at the moment, every so often she would open her eyes looking right at Spencer once she knew Spencer was still there, she would close her eyes and go back to sleep. Just as Spencer was getting back to her notes the doctor walked in "Can you please step outside so we can go over her exam?" Spencer walked over to the bed "Marie" the little girl's eyes snapped open. Spencer pointed to the window "I'm going to step right outside to talk to the doctor; you will be able to see me through that window. Okay?" The girl looked to the window and then back at her nodding her head.

Spencer followed the doctor out of the room making sure to stand right in front of the window so that Marie could see her. "She has a broken right arm that will need a cast, bruised ribs, and multiple knots on her head. The good news is the MRI showed no serious damage to her head. We did find multiple old injuries, which have healed on their own. They shouldn't give her a problem." Listening to the doctor list all her injuries brought tears to her eyes "Thank you doctor."

"There's one more thing." The doctor paused, taking a breath before continuing "We found evidence of sexual abuse." The tears that had pooled in Spencer's eyes slid down her face. Spencer thanked the doctor again and took a few minutes to dry her face before walking back into the room. Spencer walked over to the bed she laid her hand palm up on the bed allowing the little girl to decide to hold her hand.

The little girl slid her hand into the blondes after a few minutes the little girl crawled into her lap Spencer readjusted them so that they were both lying in bed. Spencer sent Aiden an email letting him know where she was and that she wouldn't make it to the office tomorrow, but that she would call him to update him as soon as she got a chance. With Marie snuggled against her, she looks at the clock it was almost one, then she closes her eyes and falls asleep.

**_18 years ago; age 9_**

_Spencer was sitting on the floor watching Mighty Mouse ignoring the sounds coming from the bedroom, she was thankful that today Mother did not make her go into that room. They were at Mother's friend's house, when they were here Mother would spend the day drinking and smoking. It always ended with Mother and her friend going into the bedroom two months ago as they were heading to the bedroom Mother's friend was looking at her "Don't you think it's time she learns how to make a man love her."_

_Mother glared at me "Of course, Spencer do you ever want a man to love you?"_

_"Yes ma'am" she hoped that was the correct answer. _

_"Come here girl" _

_She got up and walked towards Mother who led her into the bedroom "Now Spencer if you ever want a man to love you, you have to know how to please them." _

_She had to sit there and watch as Mother and her friend had sex anytime that she tried to cover her ears or close her eyes Mother would scream at her "Open your eyes, you have to know how to do this." _

_Now more often she has to sit in the bedroom and watch, today she was happy when they went to the bedroom and left her sitting in the living room. When he walked out of the bedroom she started to hope that they would be leaving soon that hope disappeared when he began pouring more shots. He was staring at Spencer she turned away to look at the TV hoping that they would forget she was there. _

_"It's time that you had hands on practice." She heard him say as he walked into the bedroom where she could hear them talking but not making out what they were saying. "Spencer, get in here now." Mother called from the bedroom. _

_Spencer walked into the bedroom "You are going to learn how to get a man to love you." Mother said as she walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She was confused not knowing what was going on when Mother's friend walked up to her taking her hand and placing it on the crotch of his shorts. Spencer jerked her hand away, turning to leave the room, he grabbed her, smacking her across the face "You will do as I say or else" he slurred throwing Spencer on the bed. _

_She moved to get off the bed when he pinned her down, whispering in her ear "you will do what I say or I will kill your dad" Spencer froze in fear just lying there as he undressed her, spreading her legs, and entering her slamming into her over and over. _

Spencer jerked awake, causing Marie's eyes to snap open. "Hey sweetie it is okay go back to sleep" surprised her voice sounded normal. It had been awhile since she has had that dream. She glanced at the clock it was a little after four she cleared her mind trying to go back to sleep.

The doctors made their rounds at seven when they entered the room Spencer woke up, she started to get up "No don't move you are fine, let her sleep." She laid back listening to the doctor's discussed Marie's injury's and medical plan. The head doctor turns to her "We will discharge her today as soon as we get the permanent cast on her arm." Spencer made a mental note to start arranging for a foster home for the girl.

Once the doctor's left the room she was surprised when Ashley walked in balancing two cups of coffee, a paper sack, and a duffel bag "hi."

"Hello"

"Aiden told me what happened and that you were here. I figured you would need some things, so I brought you one of your shirts from your desk, then stopped and bought you a toothbrush, hairbrush, and breakfast. I also brought over her clothing voucher I assumed she didn't have anything either" She handed her one of the coffees.

"Thank you, I appreciated it. You have no idea."

"No problem." Ashley looked at Marie and two blue eyes were staring back at her.

"Marie this is Ashley she is a case worker like me and here to help you as well."

Ashley waved at the little girl surprised at how much she reminded her of Spencer when she was little. It was the emotions that were in the little girl's eyes, the same ones that were in and still are in Spencer's.

Just then a nurse walked into the room "It's time to take her down for a final x-ray before we fit her in a cast."

The older women walked behind the bed, following the nurse to x-ray "Do you need anything else?"

"No, she is getting discharged soon. I really do appreciate what you did already."

They were silent for several minutes when Ashley told Spencer that she was going to go visit her mom while she was in the hospital and walked toward the elevators.

While the doctors were fitting Marie for a cast Spencer was trying to find a foster home for her, she was able to contact Kelly, who was a single female foster parent she took in short-term emergency placements until long-term arrangements could be made. Spencer thought that Marie would do better with a single female foster mom due to the trauma that the girl has experienced. They made arrangements to bring Marie to her home after they left the hospital.

After getting Marie settled at Kelly's which went a lot smoother than Spencer had thought it was going to go. The little girl had been hesitant at first clinging to her side, but eventually the girl warmed up to Kelly, nodding yes, when Spencer asked her if she wanted to stay there. She now found herself driving back to the hospital to visit Ashley's mom.

She walks back into the hospital stopping at the information desk "Hello, I'm here to visit Christine Davies can you tell me what room she's in?"

"Absolutely, give me just a second." It only took the girl behind the desk a few seconds to find her room "she's on the fourth floor, in the Rehabilitation Center in room 4126."

"Thank you."

She started walking towards the elevator as she was almost there she saw Ashley stepping off the elevator. The brown-eyed girl did not see her, so she ducked around the corner, and out of sight. She wasn't sure why, but she didn't want Ashley to see her before she went to visit. After she walked by without seeing her Spencer took the elevator to the fourth floor.

When she reached the room she started having second thoughts, she peeked into the room and saw Christine sleeping. Spencer just stared at her tears filling her eyes to the blonde the older woman looked exactly the same except with gray hair, she started to turn to leave not wanting to disturb the sleeping woman when she heard "Don't even think about it!" Spencer looked back at the older woman lying in bed.

"Hello Mrs. Davies." Spencer said from the doorway.

"Spencer you better do two things, one is to call me Christine and two is to get over here and give me a hug." She walked into the room, and hugged the older woman. Spencer did not pull away from the hug until Christine move "Let me see your face honey." Spencer moved back surprised to see that both women had tears in their eyes. "Oh Spencer I have missed you."

"I've missed you too, Mrs. Uh Christine." Spencer felt awkward calling the older woman Christine, when she was a kid; she always addressed her as Mrs. Davies, even though the older woman had tried to get her to call her by her first name.

The two women were visiting and catching up when Christine could no longer keep from asking "Honey what happened, why did you disappear ten years ago." This was the conversation Spencer did not want to have "I had my reason."

"I'm sure you did, and I want to know them. Ashley wasn't the only one heartbroken when you left."

Spencer looked away not able to look at the pain in Christine's eyes, feeling guilty that she had caused it. She was silent for many moments collecting her thoughts before saying "Ashley told."

"Ashley told what? To whom?"

"Did Ashley ever tell you what my home life was like?"

Christine reached out and took Spencer's hand "It was four years after you disappeared, but yes, she told me." Spencer just nodded thankful that she didn't have to say that part.

"Do you remember who Shelby was?"

Christine thought for a minute "Is she the cheerleader that Ashley would call Royal Bitch?"

Spencer laughed "Yep that's the one so you remember her."

Christine nodded, waiting for Spencer to continue to talk "It was the last day of school and I was at my locker cleaning it out getting ready to go meet Ashley in the parking lot. I was checking the top shelf of my locker when Shelby walked by seeing the bruises saying "Oh look did mommy punish you again; she must not like having a dyke for a daughter. Although it's no wonder you're a dyke after she turned you into some guy's sex toy." I tried to get away from her, but she continued "Do you think Ashley loves you, your own mother doesn't love you or that she would keep your secrets?" Shelby had told everyone about me and Ashley and the fact that my mother physically and sexually abused me. The counselor found out, calling me to her office, and filing a report with DCS. She wasn't going to let me leave school until DCS arrived and spoke with me, I asked to go to the restroom, and then walked out of school.

Spencer stopped talking for a second "I left school that day betrayed by Ashley, scared of what Mother would do when she found out about DCS so when I got home I packed my bags and ran away."

"Have you talked to Ashley?"

Spencer just shook her head no.

"I don't know what Ashley did or didn't say, but from what she told me I doubt she was the one to say anything to Shelby. She was heartbroken when you disappeared; I was so worried about you both. Talk to her sweetie; give her a chance to explain."

Spencer nodded, not trusting to talk at the moment, for so long she thought Ashley had told. She had to have told, how else Shelby knew everything that happened to her. Spencer looked at Christine "Can you please not tell Ashley I was here or the reason I disappear?"

"Of course I won't tell it's not my story to tell."

After that, the women spent the next two hours getting caught up, Spencer told Christine how she got her GED, put herself through college and started working for the DCS, when she went to leave, she hugged Christine and promised not to disappear again.

Walking out of the hospital she decided that it was time to talk to Ashley.


	9. Chapter 9

**Here's the next chapter. As always this will probably go through some editing as the story continues. **

**Thanks for reading!**

**Please review and let me know what you think, the good, the bad, and the ugly I appreciate all reviews!**

Chapter 9

Ashley walked out of the boardroom after the Friday meeting looking at the notes that she received from the new case that Aiden assigned to her. A young single mother left her five-year old at home alone when the babysitter called last-minute to say she couldn't watch the girl in fear of losing her job if she called in. Ashley was hopeful that the mother would be reunified with the child soon. The fact-finding hearing will be on Monday, she will be in court all day Monday due to her full work load. She has the new case she received today, she will be asking the judge to reunify the child with the mother if the mother agrees to attend parenting classes, plus DCS will help arrange daycare vouchers to help the mother pay for reliable daycare.

"Hello Ashley."

Ashley looked up and saw Spencer "Hello Spencer, How are you?"

"I'm good, and you?"

"I'm good." Ashley has had this same conversation with the blonde for the last month. She turned to walk to her cubicle stopping when Spencer continued "I was wondering" she stopped.

"Yes."

"Oh I was just wondering how Ryan Jackson's case was coming along."

Ashley could tell this is not what Spencer was originally going to ask but didn't want to push so she updated her on Ryan's case "Monday is the thirty-day follow-up with the judge, unfortunately his parents are not cooperating with me at all, they refuse to show up for visits, class, or court hearings. I will be asking the judge to consider termination of parental rights in six months unless the parents decide to co-operate."

"That's sad, that poor sweet boy. How is he doing?"

"He's doing well, he's bonding with Stacy and her husband, and if it ends with termination they are thinking about adopting him."

"That would be great, I know that Stacy has wanted to adopt for a while."

"For Ryan's sake I hope they adopt him."

Ashley was about to tell Spencer that she needed to get back to work when Madison walked up "Hello ladies."

"Hello Madison." Both women said in unison.

Madison had watched these two women dance around each other for the past month, both staring when the other wasn't looking. She decided it was time to get these two really talking "So I'm having a Halloween party at my place tomorrow night, your both invited.

"Halloween isn't for another 3 weeks Maddy." Spencer said laughing

"I know that, but everyone is always busy the closer it gets to Halloween, then the holiday season kicks off which means we are all busier with family and heavier case-loads. So I'm throwing my famous Halloween party early, that way everyone can come."

Spencer and Ashley both started to decline when Madison interrupted them "I won't take no for an answer, be at my house at seven, you may bring a date if you like, and don't forget to wear a costume." Turning to walk away before either woman could say anything.

They stood there in silence, watching Madison retreating back "Is she always like that" Ashley spoke first

"Yep"

"Well I guess I will see you tomorrow night. I need to get working on my cases, preparing for court Monday or I'll never get out of here today"

"I understand, talk to you later."

Ashley walked into her cubicle wondering how she managed to get committed to a Halloween party and what Spencer really wanted to ask her. She sat down at her computer, making herself focus on her cases.

She prepared all her cases for Monday, she had a four case going to court on Monday, an initial fact-finding hearing, a thirty-day follow-up, a termination hearing, and a reunification hearing. Having cases all at different levels was emotionally draining, she leaned back in her chair, rubbing her eyes her contacts were bothering her again. Ashley logged off the computer, grabbed her bag glad she was leaving with enough time to visit her mom. Spencer was getting on the elevator when Ashley walked up "Leaving already?"

Spencer laughed "Apparently I have to go find a Halloween costume before tomorrow night."

"So you're going to Madison party?"

"Oh yes, I have too or she will never forgive me, are you?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"I hope you do" was all Spencer said before walking off the elevator.

Ashley walked into her apartment after visiting with her mom. She had decided to go to Madison's party, she kept telling herself it was so that she could get to know her co-workers better, but really knew the only reason she was going was because Spencer wanted her to. She had tried to avoid the blonde thinking that was what she wanted, but the last few days the blonde has been the one to approach her. Ashley could tell there was something on her mind and just when she thought Spencer was going to say whatever it was on her mind she would say something else last second.

Ashley picked up her cell phone, she was going to go to the party, but she wasn't going to go alone. She called Kyla knowing that she would always be up for a party.

"Hey Kyla."

"Hey girl, how is everything?"

"Doing well, busy but good. Would you be up for a party tomorrow night?"

"Of course."

"Great it's a Halloween party so you have to wear a costume, Wear your leather."

"Oh biker chicks, I can dig it, are we taking out the Harley?"

"It's supposed to rain but if it doesn't than definitely."

Kyla squealed "I love the Harley"

Ashley laughed, she talked to Kyla for a few more minutes arranging pick up times and listening to her hope that it didn't rain. Ashley almost believed that her Harley was the only reason Kyla was her friend, which she wouldn't blame her; she was in love with her Harley.

Ashley pulled up outside of Kyla's, getting out of the car, and sprinting to the door. The bit of rain that that had been expected had turned into a downpour. Ashley walked in not bothering to knock "Kyla" she called as she removed her coat.

"In the bedroom"

Ashley walked to the back of her house towards the bedroom "I hate to break it to you but the Harley had to stay nice and dry in my garage."

Kyla stuck her head out of the bathroom door with a pout "I figured when I saw the rain."

"I promise to take you on a ride before I store her for the winter."

"Deal" Kyla looked Ashley up and down "Wow you look hot!"

"You don't look too bad yourself."

"Yea but I always dress like this, you don't. You wouldn't be trying to catch the eye of a certain blonde that you can't keep from talking about are you."

Ashley said "No" out loud, but secretly when she was dressing that was her goal. She had to admit that she looks good tonight wearing tight leather pants that hugged her hips just right, a black leather vest that barely covered the red lacy bra and boots.

"So how are things going with you and your girl?"

"She's not my girl, Kyla"

"Okay, not yet. How are things going though, how insane is it to have her back into your life?"

"I wouldn't say she was back in my life" Ashley says sitting on the bed watching Kyla put on the finishing touches of her make-up. They had tried dating a few years back, but quickly realized that they were better friends than lovers. "We don't talk, I get the feeling there is something she wants to tell me, but every time she starts she changes her mind. I am relieved to know she is okay, for ten years I have" Ashley paused, looking for the right word when Kyla finished for her "loved her."

"Worried about her." Ashley corrected.

"Call it what you want, you were in love with her ten years ago just as you are still in love with her now."

"I'm not in love with her, do I care about her? Yes, Do I hope she's happy, Yes, Have I worried about her, Yes. Do I love her, yes she was one of the most important people in my life, I will always love, but am I in love with her. No, it's been too long, we are different people now."

"Then why haven't you ever had a serious relationship?"

"I haven't found the right person yet."

"Or you already found the right person and she just walked back into your life. When we were dating there was a part of you that you kept guarded, that you wouldn't let me get near."

"What? No, we just didn't work as a couple, the chemistry wasn't there."

"No the chemistry was there, your heart wasn't."

Ashley rolled her eyes no point in arguing when Kyla believed something there was no changing her mind. Ashley laid back on the bed, closing her eyes, thinking about when she realized she was in love with the blonde.

_**11 years ago; age 16**_

_Ashley was sitting on her bed with her text books scattered around her for the past hour she has attempted to study. She had a test tomorrow in Algebra "when am I ever going to use this in real life" she grumbled as she once again attempted to solve a problem for the third time. She threw down her pencil in frustration when she still gets the incorrect answer, just then she heard her door opening, thinking her was mom coming to tell her good-night "good-night mom." After a few seconds when no one responded she looked up surprised to see Spencer standing there, tears falling down her face. She threw her books aside, homework forgotten, and went to Spencer. It had been awhile since Spencer has shown up at her house after one of her mother's punishments, she still spent the night almost every night, but more often than not it was because she wanted to be with Ashley. _

_Now that Spencer was older her Mother didn't have the opportunities to punish her as often as she used to. The blonde kept busy with school and work usually arriving home after her mother had passed out and leaving before her mom woke back up. _

"_Spencer what's wrong?" Ashley said going to Spencer, she learned long ago not to touch Spencer until the blonde made the first move. _

_Spencer didn't say a word she just raised the sleeves of her sweater causing Ashley to gasp when she saw the multiple cigarette burns that line her arms from her wrist to elbows. "Oh Spencer"_

_At that the blonde fell into Ashley's arms, the brown-eyed girl held the tears back that wanted to fall. Ashley led spencer over to her bed, clearing all her school books off the bed. The girls sat on the bed Ashley just held Spencer knowing that when the blonde was ready she would talk. _

"_I had to work late tonight, one of the girls called in. I tried calling Mother to let her know, but she never answered. I was two hours late getting home; I had hoped that Mother would have passed out already. As soon as I walked in the door, she started screaming at me about whoring around, I tried to explain to her that I was at work and had tried calling of course she didn't believe." Ashley could hear the anger building in Spencer voice as she talked, more often after the tears would run dry, Spencer would be filled with anger._

_She stood up pacing "Mother than tied me to a chair, I tried fighting her, but she threatens to lock me in the basement again. I can't handle being locked in the basement so I let her tie me to the chair. She then lit a cigarette and said as punishment I would receive one burn for every minute I was late, sixty on each arm." Spencer then sat back down, leaning on Ashley "I can't wait until college, I'm going as far away from here as I can go."_

_Ashley panicked they were just starting their junior year and hadn't talked about what they were going to do when they graduated "What college are you thinking of attending?" _

_I've been looking at UCSD." _

"_Where is that?" _

"_University of California, San Diego it's a good school and better then that it is far away from here."_

_Ashley was quiet for a long moment "California" the sadness she felt being heard in her voice_

_Spencer looked at the brown-eyed girl "Ashley you know I don't want to leave you, but I have to get away from Mother."_

_Ashley stared into the face of her best friend, trying to imagine what life will be like without her. She couldn't imagine going a day without seeing the blonde, but she knew that Spencer needed to go. If she was going to survive she needed to get away from her mother. "I'll go with you, I'm not set on any college and if UCSD is good enough for you than it's good to me" Spencer looked shocked "Ashley I can't ask you to leave your family." _

"_Do you not want me to go?" _

"_Of course Ashley, you are my best friend. Would you really leave your family and follow me to California?"_

"_Spencer, it's not like I would never see my family again, I can come back on breaks and it's only four years. Besides I" Ashley froze, realizing what she was about to say. Spencer looked at her confused "love California I mean, come on sunshine, beaches, and year-long warm weather what's not to love. Spencer face broke out into a huge smile and she hugged the brown-eyed girl knocking her over, squeezing her between her body and the mattress. Ashley couldn't help but notice how good Spencer felt lying on top of her, then the blonde began to kiss her, the rest of the night they spent kissing and whispering plans for the future. _

_While Spencer slept the brown-eyed girl lay awake holding the blonde and thinking about what she was about to say. Shocked when she realized that she was about to say "I love you" they had told each other that they loved each other in the past, especially if it was going to be a few days until they were going to be together again. Tonight however when Ashley almost voiced her feelings, it wasn't the friend love as it had always been in the past Ashley knew that had she said the words she was saying that she was in love with the blonde. _

Ashley sat up when she heard Kyla announce that she was ready to go to the party "about time."

"Hey it's not easy to look this good it takes time and a lot of hard work." Kyla said walking past Ashley and out of the bedroom.

Madison answered the door dressed as a sexy nurse, she pulled Ashley into a hug as they were walking in the door "I was worried you weren't going to make it."

"We would have been here sooner, but apparently it takes forever to reach this kind of perfection." Ashley pointed at Kyla, who smacked her "Oh shut up" Kyla said blushing. Madison led them into the living room "There's food in the kitchen, alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages as well make yourself at home." She yelled over the music that was blaring through the house.

Ashley turned to Kyla "Would you like a drink?"

"A rum and coke would be great."

When Ashley walked into the kitchen see saw Spencer dressed as a baseball player, talking to Aiden as soon as the blonde spotted the brown-eyed girl she stopped speaking and her mouth fell open. Ashley walked to the counter, acting like she didn't notice the effect she was having on Spencer. Aiden was the first one to speak up "Hot damn Ashley, you look amazing, the biker chick thing works for you."

Ashley laughed "Thank you, boss" she turned to Spencer who no longer had the shocked look on her face "hello Spencer"

"Hello Ashley, nice costume."

"Thanks" Ashley smiled "I like the irony of your uniform."

"I thought it was clever. Did you bring someone?" Spencer asked, looking at the two drinks in Ashley hands.

"Yes, my friend Kyla I should probably deliver her drink, talk to you both later."

The party had actually been fun, Ashley was glad she went even if she didn't have another chance to talk with the blonde. She was driving Kyla home "you know if looks could kill I would be dead."

"What are you talking about?" Ashley glanced at Kyla.

"Spencer was shooting daggers at me all night, did you forget to mention to her that we're not dating."

"I told her you were my friend, we didn't talk much tonight."

"Well she couldn't keep her eyes off you, and sent glares my way all night. If I was to guess I'd say she's not over you either."

"You are imagining things, there's nothing to get over, and she hates me."

Kyla looked at Ashley but didn't say anything she just hoped that the two women would find their way back to one another for her friend's sake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it's been so long since I've updated. I've been battling a cold that has knocked me out. I'm working on the next couple of chapters, so hopefully I will have the next chapter posted soon. **

**This chapter has finally been edited. **

**As always thanks for reading and reviewing. =)**

Chapter 10

Spencer has paced her living room for forty-five minutes trying to work up the courage to call Ashley. She had dialed the brown-eyed girl's number twenty times and hanging up each time before hitting the send button. "Oh for fuck's sake" she said hitting the send button at last.

Part of Spencer hoped that she wouldn't answer, about to disconnect the call a sleepy Ashley answered "Hello"

"Hello Ashley, its Spencer I didn't mean to wake you I can call back later."

"No it's okay, I dozed off on the couch watching TV I'm not used to staying up late anymore. What's up?"

Ashley dressed in tight leather pants that hugged her hips, a black leather vest that barely covered the red lacy bra that Ashley had been wearing, and black boots flashed into Spencer mind. Ashley could definitely pull off biker chick, clearing her head, she began speaking fast afraid she would lose her nerve "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming over. I would like to talk about what happened ten years ago."

When only silence came from the other end of the phone Spencer checked her phone to make sure the call was till connected. "Ashley?"

"Sorry, I'm here. Yes I will come over, just say when."

"Well I was thinking, how about this afternoon if you don't have anything else planned."

"No I don't have plans, I can come this afternoon."

Spencer gave the brown-eyed girl her address then hanging up the phone. It would be an hour before Ashley arrived, so she decided to pick up a little not able to sit still. She was just finishing the living room when she heard what sounded like a motorcycle pull into her driveway. Spencer went to the window to see who it was not expecting Ashley yet; her mouth fell open when she saw Ashley getting off the motorcycle.

"Oh my god." She said when she saw the brown-eyed girl remove the black helmet and shake out her hair. She then watched as Ashley took off the leather pants not as tight as last nights, but they looked just as good and jacket she was wearing placing them in the bags on the bike. Underneath she was wearing blue-jeans and a tight t-shirt Spencer noticed that she looked just as good in the jeans as she did the leather; she stepped away from the window not allowing that direction of her thoughts continue. '

After a few minutes Ashley knocked on the door, opening the door, she said the first thing that came to mind "You really have a motorcycle?"

Ashley smiled "Well actually it's a Harley, but yea, this is probably one of the last nice days for a while so I took the opportunity."

"So last night, the biker chick look wasn't a costume you're actually a biker chick."

"Yea I guess I am. It was an easy go to costume last-minute." Ashley said, smiling remembering the way Spencer's mouth fell open when Ashley walked into the room.

Spencer just stood not knowing what to say or do, remembering how good Ashley looked getting off the motorcycle. Ashley's voice snapped her out of her thoughts "May I come in?"

"Oh yes, I'm sorry." She said stepping to the side so Ashley could come in.

"No problem, this is a cute little place you have."

Thanks, would you like something to drink." Spencer led Ashley into the living room "water would be great." Ashley took a seat on the couch while Spencer went to get her water.

Both women had sat in silence when Spencer was the first to speak "I want to tell you why I ran away."

"I'm listening"

**_10 years ago; age 17_**

_It was the last day of school, Spencer had one more class to attend before summer began, and she was cleaning out her locker now so that after class she could leave to meet Ashley. It had been a strange day, everywhere she went there would be groups of students huddled together whispering, as soon as, she would walk near them, they would stop and stare at her. _

_She reached up on the top shelf of her locker making sure that there wasn't anything left when she heard _"_Oh look did mommy punish you again; she must not like having a dyke for a daughter. Although it's no wonder you're a dyke after she allowed some guy to use you as a sex toy." Spencer froze; she turned to see Shelby the head cheerleader looking at her with a smug smirk._

_"What?" Spencer said in disbelief, looking to see if anyone had heard Shelby. It appeared that the entire school was in the hallway, staring at her, waiting for what she said. _

_"Do you think Ashley loves you, your own mother doesn't love you or that she would keep your secrets?" Shelby continued getting louder as the crowd in the hallway continues to grow. Spencer tries to shove past Shelby before the tears she is holding back fall, Shelby blocks her way "Ashley and I have a good laugh at how pathetic you are she can't wait until she's free from you."_

_Spencer pushes past her and heads for the restroom, not wanting anyone to see the tears filling her eyes. She could hear everyone talking about her not bothering to whisper anymore. Just as she was about to enter the restroom Mrs. Parker the school counselor calls out "Spencer could I have a work with you please." _

_"I need to use the restroom and then get to my last class" not wanting to answer the questions she knows the counselor's going to ask. _

_"I'm sorry this cannot wait, I need you to follow me to my office now."_

_Spencer keeps her head down as she follows Mrs. Parker to her office, trying to ignore the stares from her classmates along the way. When she enters the officer Mrs. Parker ask her if she would like a drink, she just shakes her head now wanting to get out of here as fast as possible. _

_"Spencer it's brought to my attention that you are being abused at home, is this true?"_

_Spencer doesn't answer; she just sits there looking at the floor what Shelby said playing on repeat in her head. When she hears the counselor say "I'm going to have to report this to DCS." She finally speaks "Please don't, it's not that bad honest." _

_"Spencer I have no choice but to call, she says as she picks up the phone." Spencer remains in the counselor's office for the remaining of class, when she hears the bell that signals schools dismissed for the summer she asks if she can go._

_"I'm sorry Spencer you are going to have to wait here until the case worker from DCS arrives."_

_"May I use the restroom?"_

_"Yes, but come right back here."_

_Spencer walks out of the counselor office, leaving her book bag even though she has no intention of returning to the office, she heads for the door that leads out to the parking lot. Wanting to get away as fast as possible before DCS arrives, while sitting in the counselor's officer Spencer began to get angry at Ashley, how could she have told, she knew what Mother would do if DCS showed up at the house. She knew that she would never be back to school. _

"Well you know the rest I went home, backed my bag, and left before DCS showed up at my door." Spencer finished watching Ashley for her reaction would be. Ashley just sat there for a long time not saying anything, not showing anything in her face "Ashley, how could you tell Shelby?" Spencer asked.

At this Ashley snapped out of whatever thought she was in and Spencer recognized the anger that was in the brown-eyed girls face "How could I have told Shelby? How could you think I would tell Shelby?"

"How else would she have known, she said you told?"

"You believed her? Spencer you knew that Shelby and I hated each other, she would do whatever she could to get to me. Why would I have told her" Ashley's voice rising with each word.

"You were the only one that knew, how else did she know?" Spencer's voice rising as well

"I was not the only one that knew, did you ever think that maybe Glen told her?"

"Why would Glen tell her? They didn't talk."

"What? They were sleeping together Spencer; everyone knew that you can't tell me you didn't know."

"They what?"

Ashley stood up not able to sit still "They were, but that doesn't matter, what matters is that you didn't think to ask me. You believed Shelby and just disappeared."

"I had to get away before DCS arrived, I couldn't take another one of Mother's punishments. How did I know you didn't tell her?"

"You could have asked! I was in love with you I would have followed you anywhere than you left. I didn't think I would ever get over it, I spent weeks looking for you when I couldn't find you I was so scared that something would happen to you. I beat myself up every day trying to figure out what it was that I had done to make you leave and now I find out that I didn't do anything. That you listened to that bitch instead of asking me." Ashley stormed out of the house, getting on her bike, and taking off down the street.

Spencer stood in the middle of her living room, shocked to learn that it was her brother who had told. How long had they been sleeping together, why would he tell. These were questions that she would never be able to ask him as he died of a drug overdose four years ago. She fell on the couch closing her eye's replaying the conversation over in her head when she snapped upright when what Ashley had said registered "she was in love with me" Spencer put her head in her hands as the tears began to fall "what did I do?"

Spencer arrived to work Monday morning, nervous to face Ashley. She had stayed up all night replaying the conversation as well as what had happened ten years ago in her mind. Trying to figure out if there was any way she could have known ten years ago that Ashley hadn't told. The only conclusion she could come up with was that she should have asked Ashley instead of assuming. She walked into her cubicle surprised that there wasn't a cup of coffee waiting for her, this either meant that Ashley was mad at her or she wasn't at work yet. Spencer walked past Ashley's cubicle; she could tell that the brown-eyed girl hadn't arrived to work yet.

She spent the morning making calls to her foster parents, checking in on the kids; every time the elevator doors would open she would look to see if Ashley had arrived. At noon she decided to leave for lunch, she wasn't able to focus on her work anyway, she logged off her computer, and went to lunch. Spencer sat outside for lunch, not touching her food; she was getting angrier at herself for not trusting Ashley.

The blonde returned to the office wanting to apologize to Ashley for not trusting her ten years ago, she walked to the brown-eyed girl's cubicle and was again surprised that she wasn't there and it hadn't appeared that she had been there. Spencer assumed that Ashley was out of the office today either doing home visits or court appearance. She would have to wait until tomorrow to talk to her again.

By Friday Ashley still hasn't arrived to work and Spencer was getting worried, she walked into Aiden's office Friday afternoon "Hey boss can I talk to you a minute?"

"Sure thing, what's going on?"

"Is everything alright with Ashley, I noticed she hasn't been at work all week."

"As far as I know everything is alright, she called early Monday morning asking for the week off after her court hearings were complete on Monday. She had mentioned something about needing time to take care of something things with her family."

"Thanks boss"

She walked back to her cubicle worried that something had happened to Christine, she decided that she would call Ashley tonight when she got home.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 =)

Ashley walked through her door Friday evening sore and exhausted, after leaving Spencer's house last weekend her mom called letting her know that on Monday she would be discharged from the hospital. She had called Aiden asking for the week off to help her father, rearrange the house so that her mom could easily move around. Her mom now needed to use a walker, so Ashley and her father moved her parents' bedroom from upstairs to the spare room on the main level. Of course Christine knew that something was bothering Ashley, she also knew it had to do with Spencer. She decided not to push her into talking knowing that she would talk when she was ready.

Ashley had been glad to have the excuse to not have to face Spencer, she was still as angry as she was when Spencer first told her as well as hurt. She didn't want to think about Spencer anymore tonight so she decided to get an early night's sleep, she picked up her phone and saw that Spencer had called and left a message, Ashley decided not to listen to the message tonight, just wanting to sleep. She undressed and crawled into bed, but no matter how hard she tried to keep the blonde from entering her thoughts, it was her only thought.

The next morning Ashley listened to Spencer's voicemail "Hey Ashley, its Spencer. I hope everything is okay with your mom; I would like to talk to you. Please call me." Ashley wasn't ready to talk to Spencer, so instead she called Kelly, Marie's foster mom. Marie's case didn't get assigned to her, but she felt drawn to the little girl. She didn't think about the reasons much because the main reason was that the girl reminded her of Spencer.

She had been in contact with Kelly every few days, checking in on Marie making sure she had everything she needed. After the two women had talked for a while, Kelly asked "Why don't you come over for lunch?"

"I would love too, as long as you think Marie would be alright with it."

"She will be just fine, how about eleven?"

"Sounds perfect" Ashley hung up the phone feeling a lot better than she did when she woke up. She started getting ready so that she had enough time to stop by the store before going to visit Marie. Ashley walked up and down the toy aisle, not able to decide what to buy the girl every so often she would pick up a toy, thinking this is the one until she found another one that might be the perfect toy. She settled on a stuffed dog that sang the alphabet, counted to twenty, and sang songs "it's cute and educational." Not meaning to say that out loud she jumped when she heard someone behind her say "Oh I got that for my son, he loves it, I am sure your child will love it too." Ashley started to respond that it wasn't for her child, but instead just said "Thank you, I hope so" she went to pay for the toy very excited to see the three-year old blonde.

Ashley knocked on Kelly's door feeling excited and nervous the toy for Marie in her hand hoping that the little girl like it. Kelly answered the door "Hey, come on in."

"Thanks for inviting me" she showed Kelly the toy "I hope she likes it."

"I'm sure she will" Kelly led Ashley to the playroom where Marie was sitting in the middle of the floor not playing with any of the toys "just don't be hurt if she doesn't play with it."

"What do you mean?" Ashley stopped not wanting to enter the room until she and Kelly talked.

"She doesn't play with toys, I've tried to get her to, let her know that she's allowed to touch them, she looks at them like she's interested but doesn't interact with them."

Ashley walked into the room and again amazed at how similar Marie was to Spencer, not just the emotions in her eyes, but the color of her hair, the color of her eyes, and the shy way she looked at you. Ashley sat down next to Marie "Hello, Marie I'm Ashley, do you remember me?" Marie looked at her, almost studying her then she climbed into Ashley's lap. The brown-eyed girl's heart melted when the little blonde laid her head against her chest, she wrapped her arms around the girl feeling the same instinct to protect this child as she did so many years ago sitting in the creek with Spencer.

"I brought you a gift" pulling the stuff dog out, the little girl's eyes lit up when she saw the dog. Ashley pushed the dog's paw and it started singing Twinkle Twinkle causing the little girl to smile. Ashley handed the toy to the little girl, who held it away from her like it was a foreign object so Ashley pushed the dog's paw again showing Marie how to make him sing. The girl just sat there looking from Ashley to the dog that's when it dawned on Ashley, Marie didn't know how to play. The poor girl has more than likely never had toys she looked at Kelly "She doesn't know how to play."

"Oh my gosh, I hadn't thought of that."

Ashley decided right then to make it a weekly visit for nothing more than to come and play with Marie

"If you don't mind, I would like to visit at least once a week, just to play with her. I can get you information on teaching a child to interact with objects, such as toys."

"That would be wonderful, you are welcome anytime."

Ashley stayed until Marie was asleep, her and Kelly agree that Sunday's at lunchtime would be a good time for both of them for her to visit. Ashley decides to stop by her parents' house to say hello and see how her mom is doing. While driving Ashley is making a list of toys and games she is going to introduce to Marie, she could have a therapist do this, but she wanted to show the little girl all the fun toys are.

She walked into her parents' house, and found her mom sitting in the sun-room "Hey mom"

"Hi sweetie"

"How are you feeling?"

"Much better now that I'm out of that hospital, I thought I was going to go crazy if I had to stay there one more day. What have you been up to today?"

Ashley sat down next to her mom, "Nothing much, went and visited with one of the kids who are a ward."

"You're working on Sunday?"

"It wasn't work; she's not on my case."

"You did a home visit on a case that is not yours?"

"She's not just a case, she's special."

Ashley laid her head in her mom's lap stretching out on the couch. Christine ran her fingers through her daughter's hair waiting for her to start talking after about five minutes Ashley said "It's her eyes."

"Whose eyes?"

"Marie's, mom when I look at her I see the same hurt that Spencer had. She's three and has gone through more shit" her mom smacked her in the head "ouch, sorry mom, stuff than most adults. She doesn't even know how to play with toys."

"You will be good for her. Speaking of Spencer how is that going?"

At this Ashley stood up and began pacing "Well for starters, she told me why she disappeared."  
Her mom nodded, waiting for Ashley to continue "Shelby, the royal" seeing her mom's eyebrows rise "well you know. Anyway, Shelby said some stuff to her on the last day of class, told her it was me that told her. Spencer believed her, instead of asking me about it, she just took Shelby of all people for her word and disappeared."

Christine watched her daughter pacing "I know"

Ashley stopped pacing "How do you know?"

"Spencer stopped by the hospital to visit."

"Why didn't you tell me that Spencer had stopped by?"

"She asked me not to, after she told me why she left I let her know that I didn't believe you had told Shelby. I think she needed time to think, it was her that needed to tell you not me. How do you feel now that you know?"

"I'm angry and hurt, how could she believe that bitch" Ashley sent an apologetic look at her mom "why didn't she come to me?"

"I don't know what was going through Spencer's mind, but I'm sure she reacted out of fear. Everyone had hurt her in some way, it was easier to believe that you hurt her than to not to. Fear makes people do crazy stuff."

"I don't know if I can forgive her mom, for ten years I have blamed myself, worried sick about what had happened to her, only to find out that I hadn't done anything wrong. How do I forgive her for that?"

"I'm not saying what she did was right, or that forgiveness is easy. The question you are going to have to decide is are you willing to continue to live without her in your life or are you willing to forgive her and have Spencer be a part of your life?"

"I don't know mom."

"Well the good news is you don't have to decide now, take your time, process this, and when you feel like you can forgive her you will."

Christine sat for a long time after her daughter had left, thinking about the two girls. Her heart breaking for them just like it did ten years ago.

**6 months after Spencer disappeared  
**_"What do you mean there is no trace of her, she didn't just vanish" _

_"Ma'am, it's almost like she vanished we have record of her buying two bus tickets one to Miami and the other to San Diego."_

_"Okay, so go to Miami and San Diego and look for her that's what I'm paying you for."_

_The private investigator that Christine hired to find the blonde shook his head, "No you don't understand she bought the tickets but never boarded the busses. It seems that she bought them, hoping that it would lead anyone looking for her to a dead-end."_

_Christine stared at the PI in disbelief "how do you know she never got on the busses?"_

_"I reviewed the security videos of both busses, no one even coming close to fitting the girls' description got on the bus. I'm sorry, but until another lead pops up there's nothing more I can do." _

_Christine walked out of the PI's office with tears in her eyes. It's been six months since Spencer ran away and Ashley was still just as devastated as she was the day she came home after finding the note. Her heart was breaking for her daughter who had spent every free moment she had looked for her friend. Until a month ago when all of a sudden she just shut down, quit looking for the blonde, quit smiling, and quit living. Christine had to do something so she hired the PI hoping he could find the blonde. Now she didn't know what to do. _

_She walked into her house at first she thought that everyone was gone until she heard her daughter crying. She opened her daughter bedroom door and the sight broke her heart even more, Ashley was sitting on the floor, with tears streaming down her face. Christine went to her and wrapped her in her arms wishing more than anything that she could take the pain away. _

_"Mom, where is she? Why won't she contact me?" Ashley choked out between sobs. _

_"Honey, I don't know, I wish I knew."_

_"What did I do?_

_"Ashley I'm not sure why Spencer left but I'm sure it wasn't anything you did."_

_Christine was able to talk Ashley into getting into bed, she lay there and held her daughter until the tears stopped and exhaustion set in. _

Christine wished now just as she had then that there was something she could do for her daughter.


	12. Chapter 12

**This is the last completed chapter I have done, it has not been edited. **

Chapter 12 – Rough Draft

Spencer beat out the last notes on her keyboard saving the file "Are you trying to break your keyboard?" Spencer turned to see Madison looking at her "Hey Maddy what's up?"

"Nothing much, we haven't talked since my party, want to go to dinner?"

"Sure, just let me log off and gather my things."

They decided to walk to the small diner down the street from the office, enjoying the crisp fall air. "I hope it's not going to be a bad winter" Spencer held the door open for Maddy.

"I read that it's not supposed to be, but who knows." Maddy led Spencer to a table in the corner "I've missed hanging out with you."

"Same here, I hate this time of year our workloads double." Spencer placed her order thinking about how Halloween was in three days, usually they didn't get over loaded with new cases until after Halloween, but it seems to have started early this year. Holidays were always busier for the department with parents under more stress they had more calls about kids being left alone, or suspicion of abuse. Most cases that were opened during the holiday season usually closed pretty quickly.

They were half way through dinner when Spencer heard a laugh that she would recognize anywhere, without looking she knew the Ashley was in the restaurant. She hoped that the brown-eyed girl wouldn't see her, doubting that if she did she would say anything to her. It had been a couple of weeks since they talked and Ashley has not made any attempt to speak to Spencer again. Spencer had left multiple messages but after not getting a response she quit calling.

"Hey look there's Ashley" before Spencer could stop her Maddy was waving Ashley over "Hello Ashley, How are you?"

"I'm good, you remember my friend Kyla." Ashley said putting her arm around the woman.

"Hello" Spencer said to both of them.

"What are you guys up to tonight?"

"Just having dinner" Spencer looked from Ashley to Kyla thinking they made a cute couple "What about you two?"

"The same"

"Oh I know" All eyes turned to Maddy "We should go to a haunted house tonight, we are about done with dinner. How about you guys?"

Ashley was about to decline when Kyla answered first "Oh that sounds fun, we were just leaving." She turned to Ashley "What do you say let's go." Ashley just nodded knowing any excuse she would give Kyla would see through. They all headed out Kyla and Ashley was going to follow the other women to the haunted house.

Spencer sat quietly in the car wondering how the night had turned out this way, she had tried to come up with an excuse to get out of it.

"Why are you so quiet, you love haunted house."

Spencer looked at Maddy like she had a second head "No I don't, you love them and choose to torture me by dragging me along every year."

"At least the company will be better this year, maybe she will protect you" Maddy says winking at her.

"I believe she will be protecting her girlfriend"

"I don't think they are dating, Ashley always introduces her as her friend." Maddy was coming up with a plan, she would have to get Kyla alone she would need her help.

Once they arrived Maddy quickly grabbed Kyla's arm leading her towards the ticket both "I'll buy, you two wait here we will get the tickets."

"We can come" Both Ashley and Spencer said, neither wanting to be alone with the other.

"No reason for all of us to stand in line, you two wait at those tables" Maddy and Kyla quickly walked away.

"So are you and Ashley dating?" Maddy was quick to point not having a lot of time.

"No, we are just friends. We dated once but her heart belongs to someone else."

"Oh good" She looked at Kyla about to apologize but Kyla spoke first "So what's the plan to get our friends together?"

Maddy smiled liking the other woman more; they then spent the rest of the time in line coming up with a plan to get Ashley and Spencer alone together.

"Why do I have a feeling our friends are up to no good" Spencer mumbled as she led Ashley to an empty picnic table near the bomb fire.

"Oh I don't know maybe because they are as subtle as a train wreck"

Spencer laughed "Well nothing Maddy does is subtle."

The women sat in silence for several minutes Spencer was about to speak when the brown-eyed girl spoke first "Look Spencer we both know that I am only here because of Kyla" Ashley saw the other women coming their way "here they come."

"Well it won't be long before we know their plan" Spencer could tell by the look on Maddy's face that she was up to something. Sure enough it didn't take long, just as the two woman arrived to the table Kyla said "You will never believe it but just as Maddy bought two tickets for her and Spencer my phone rang, its work I have to run." Ashley was about to say she would leave with her when Maddy spoke "So I told her that I would give her a ride, you and Ashley can have my tickets." She looked at Spencer who only just put her head in her hand, knowing there was no point in arguing.

"What? No it's fine I'll go with her, you were the one wanting to do this."

"No No its fine, Spencer's the one that really like's haunted houses I just join her."

Spencer glared at Maddy before she could say anything Maddy was handing her tickets pulling her into a hug whispering "talk." Kyla did the same to Ashley and the two walked quickly away.

"What the hell just happened?"

Spencer stood up "we can always just leave" feeling both relieved and disappointed.

Ashley stood there not looking at Spencer battling with herself, she didn't want to be around Spencer but she did love haunted houses "well since we are here and we both love haunted houses we should stay but this does not mean that I have forgiven you."

Spencer groaned she wanted to spend time with the brown-eyed girl but she did not love haunted houses "I understand so where are we starting?"

Spencer nerves were shot "why do I keep doing this to myself" she groaned as she waited in line for the haunted hay ride. Ashley had gone to get drinks, the blonde was thankful to have a few minutes away from her. They hadn't said more than a few words to each other, every time Spencer had tried to start up a conversation Ashley would quickly stop the conversation. She overheard the couple in front of her talking about their plans for the holidays, she hated the holidays another thing that Mother was able to ruin for her.

_**19 years ago; age 8**_

_Spencer and her dad had spent the day decorating the Christmas tree she hadn't had that much fun ever. Her dad had left for work shortly after they were done, no sooner did her dad walk out the door Mother started drinking. She was looking at the tree smiling remembering how her dad had lifted her up so that she could put the star on the top of the tree. Lost in the memory she didn't hear Mother walk up behind her "what are you smiling at" she grabbed her by the hair dragging her over to the tree "do you think you deserved this?"_

_Spencer didn't answer quickly enough causing Mother to smack her across the face "answer me now girl."_

"_No ma'am" _

"_What do you deserve?"_

"_To be punished" Spencer knew that she had done the one thing that would cause Mother to punish her no matter what, she had looked happy. _

_Mother smiled "Yes you deserve to be punished, how should I punish you?" _

_Spencer didn't answering know that was a question that didn't require an answer. This was part of Mother's game, the planning the punishment. She was looking at the tree when she smiled bending down to be face to face with Spencer "Lets see how much you like this tree after your punishment."_

_Spencer could smell the alcohol on Mother's breath but didn't flintch only watching as Mother grabbed a glass ornament off the tree. She was confused not knowing what Mother planned to do when all of a sudden Mother smashed the glass ornament on the top of her head. Spencer could feel the glass cutting into her head, one after another Mother would grab an ornament and then smash it on her head. Each ornament hurt more than the one before it as the glass was pounded into her head, blood slowly started to trinkle down her face. She didn't move to wipe it nor did she allow her mother to see the hurt in her eyes. _

_After what felt like forever but was only thirty minutes Mother had broken all the glass ornaments on Spencer's head she went into her bedroom to pass out. As she walked by Spencer she patted her on top of the head causing the shards of glass to dig in farther "how do you like your tree now" not waiting for Spencer to answer before slamming her door. _

Spencer jumped smacking Ashley hand, not hearing the brown-eyed girl walk back up to her and say her name she was startled when she felt someone shaking her. Ashley recognizing the look in her eyes "what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

Ashley seeing that she was shaking gently took her arm, leading her out of line, and away from the crowds. She tried to pulled out of Ashley's grasp "honestly I'm okay, let's get back in line."

"No, you don't even like haunted houses" Ashley finally stopped when they were alone turning to look at Spencer.

"Yes I do"

"Uh huh that's why you have looked as pale as a ghost and have made me go first all night. I was pretty sure you were going to faint after the last one."

Spencer couldn't argue even after not being together for ten years Ashley could still read her better than anyone else "I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize but don't lie either. Are you ready to leave?" Spencer just nodding as they started to walk towards the car.

At first they drove each in their own thoughts when they were almost to Ashley's the brown-eyed girl asked "want to talk about what you were thinking about in line?"

Spencer didn't answer right away, for ten years she hadn't talked to anyone about her past. This wasn't just anyone though, out of anyone Ashley would know exactly what Spencer was talking about. Pulling into the parking lot of Ashley's apartment she decided she was tired of not talking.

"I was remembering the first year Mother had smashed ornaments on my head as a punishment."

Ashley remember that day like it had just happened yesterday, it was the first night that the blonde had snuck through her bedroom window.

_**19 years ago; age 8**_

_Ashley walked into her room flipping on the light having just come from taking a shower she jumped when she saw someone move in the corner of her room. It didn't take long for her to know it was Spencer or to tell that something was wrong but she was not prepared for what she saw when the blonde turned to face her. _

_Spencer stood there with a mixture of dried tears and blood covering her face "I'm sorry I" she couldn't finish has the sobs took over. Ashley went to her wrapping her arms around the girl "It's okay, don't apologize." After the tears stopped Ashley let go of her "I'll be right back."_

_Spencer looked panicked "No don't tell anyone." _

"_I'm not I'm going to go get a wet rag to wash your face" Ashley quietly shut her bedroom door turning and running right into her mom "Ashley who were you talking to?"_

"_Oh um, no one I was talking to myself."_

_Her mom looked at her than said "Okay well its bedtime honey"_

"_Okay mom, I just have to use the restroom first" giving her mom a quick hug and kissing, telling her good night not wanting her to come in the room later. She watches her mom walk back down the hallway than went to the bathroom. Returning to her bedroom she was worried that Spencer would have left when she heard her mom outside the door but the blonde was still in her room hiding in the corner. When Spencer saw it was Ashley coming back into the room she sat back in the chair. _

_Ashley gently washed the blondes face noticing the shivers of glass in the girls hair "Spence what happened?"_

"_Mother punished me."_

"_How?"_

"_Breaking Christmas ornaments on my head."_

_Ashley starting picking the glass out of her hair, apologizing when she saw her flinch after an hour she was sure she had gotten all the glass. "Spence how did you get in my room?"_

_Spencer looked away, the brown-eyed girl saw the embarrassment in her face "Spence I'm glad you came here, you can come here anytime you want, I was just curious."_

"_I climbed through your window; I didn't want your parents to see me. I'm sorry"_

"_No it's okay; you can climb in my window anytime."_

"I remember that night, that was the first night you climbed through my window." Ashley put her hand on the blondes arm, feeling the need to comfort her and remove the pain from the passed from her eyes. Spencer just stared into Ashley's eyes seeing the comfort that was there when they were younger. Without either of them realizing they were moving both were leaning towards each other just as their lips were about to meet a car door slammed bringing Ashley back to the present. The hurt and anger replaced the previous feeling stopping her in her tracks "I can't."

"Ash"

"No don't call me that, I can't do this" the anger returning to her voice "you broke my heart once I will not allow you to do it again." She got out of the car running to her apartment never looking back.

**Again this chapter will go through some change when I edit it. **

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing.**

**Be back in a month!**


	13. Chapter 13

I'm back! Hello everyone, that was a long 4 weeks of training. I was not able to work on this nearly as much as I wanted to. This chapter was pieced together throughout the past 4 weeks when I had a few minutes here and there. I'm feeling a little scattered right now, I have several different directions I could see this story going but not sure which way to take it. I'm going to continue to free write, not doing much editing right now while I figure out the direction. Once I get back into a solid swing I will go back and edited the last 3 chapters or so.

Any feedback will be greatly appreciated as far as where to take this story.

Let me know what you think!

Chapter 13 – rough draft

Ashley grabbed her notes and headed for the boardroom for the Friday meeting. Walking in she groaned when she saw the only empty seat was the one next to Spencer. She sat down turning the chair so her back was to the blonde it had been four days since they almost kissed.

"Hello Ashley."

She responded with a quick hello not yet ready to talk to her. Luckily before Spencer could say anything else Aiden started the meeting. Ashley had two cases that he wanted updates on; one was going before the judge next week and would probably be closed with the children reunified with the parents. The other was a case that opened last week he wanted to know what the reunification plan involved and what was decided at the fact-finding hearing.

Ashley was relieved that this meeting was short quickly walking out of the boardroom with Spencer quick on her heels.

"Hey Ashley, wait a minute."

Ashley continued to walk "I have a busy day" not wanting to have this discussion at work. Not wanting to have it at all, she was angry at Spencer as well as herself. It was too easy to fall back into those old feelings when she was around the blonde. She could feel her eyes on her back as she continued to walk to her cubicle releasing the breath she was holding when Spencer turned and walked in the other direction. Ashley's phone started ringing the second she walked into her cubicle "please do not be another case" she whispered before answer the phone. "Department of Child Services, this is Ashley Davies. How may I help you?"

"Ashley? Wow you sound so professional."

"Mom? Are you okay? Is dad okay?" Ashley began to panic her parents never called her on her work phone always calling her cell.

"Calm down, everything is okay. I tried calling your cell but it kept going to voicemail and I wanted to talk to you not your voicemail."

Ashley laughed pulling her phone from her pocket "Mom I turned it off for the meeting, the voicemail is meant for you to leave a message and then I will call you back."

"Yea, but I wanted to talk to you now."

Ashley knew there was no point in continuing this discussion "Okay mom, you got me what is so important you couldn't leave a message."

"Thanksgiving" her mom said seriously

Ashley groaned "Mom, Thanksgiving is a month away, why does this need a discussion right now?"

"No it's less than a month away."

"Okay, but you need to take it slow. We do not need a feast for Thanksgiving." Ashley's mother loved to cook and what better reason to cook than the holidays, she always made enough food for a small army.

"Pssh, cooking is taking it slow, besides you will help."

Ashley knew she was stuck now "of course mom."

Ashley and her mom talked for a few more minutes with her promising that she would come over soon to go over the menu for Thanksgiving. Ashley had the feeling that her mom wanted to ask something else but she didn't. After hanging up she heard someone clear their throat behind her turning to see Spencer standing there.

"How is your mom doing?"

"She's doing well, she's home now."

"That's good" Spencer chewed on her lip before asking "can we talk?"

"No, I have home visits to go to" she walked out of the cubicle. She checked in with Aiden letting him know that she was going to complete her visit and if he didn't have anything else for her to do she would just head home for the weekend. She walked to the elevators not looking in Spencer's directions ready for a nice long weekend.

The weekend had flown by Ashley had visited her parents, completed some work around the apartment, and her visited with the tiny blonde that was slowly filling her heart. She was staring at the photo on her phone she smiled thinking back to her visit with the tiny blonde Ashley had snapped the photo after the girl had knocked over the tower of blocks that she had just stacked. The smile on the girls face brought joy to her heart now more than pain and emptiness there is joy and hope in Marie's eyes. Lost in the memory of the little girl she jumped when someone tapped her on the shoulder

"Sorry Ashley, I didn't mean to startle you." Aiden said

"No it's okay, I was lost in thought." Ashley slid her phone into her pocket.

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"No I'm good, do you need something boss?"

"Can you be in my office in fifteen minutes for a meeting?"

"Sure, do I need to bring anything?"

"Nope, it's an informal meeting."

She watched him walk back to his office thinking about how she really enjoyed working for him and curious about this meeting. Exactly fifteen minute later she walked into his office surprised to see Spencer there, the look on the blonde's face told her that she was just as surprised to see Ashley. The blonde was about to say something when Aiden let them know the reason for the meeting.

"We have an out of state relative placement the child is a ten year old boy named Tony, no history of abuse. The mother was sentence to twenty years for a felony drug charge and there is no family in their current state. The grandmother lives here and would like the child to reside with her. All paperwork is complete you would only have to go there pick him up and bring him here."

Ashley was still trying to figure out what this had to do with both Spencer and her. Having out of state placements weren't uncommon but usually it was just one case worker who would transport the only reason there would be two is if "no way" Ashley didn't mean to speak out loud. Spencer must have realized the reason that they were both sitting in his office at the same time Ashley did if her body language was any clue. "Aiden, you've conveniently left out the bit of information telling us where the child currently resides." Spencer was the first to find her voice and ask the question.

Aiden becoming aware of the tension between the two women looked from one to the other before continuing quickly "Well he currently resides in Del Rio."

Ashley released a breath of relief "Tennessee, that's only a 12 hour roundtrip, down and back."

Aiden shifted uncomfortably "Well actually it's Del Rio, Texas"

"Texas!" Ashley groaned

"That's a 12 hour drive one way" the blonde said to no one in particular

"Actually it's eighteen hours one way"

"There's no one else that can go?" Ashley did not want to be in a car alone with the blonde.

"I'm sorry but everyone else has court appearances or cases that need to be followed up on. You two are completely caught up on your cases."

"When do we leave?" Spencer knew there was no point in arguing.

"Wednesday, take two days to drive down there, a day there, and then two days back. You can take tomorrow off to get things ready also the department will issue you a travel card for all expenses."

Ashley suddenly realized what was being said "wait, we are going to be gone Sunday?" her heart breaking at not being able to visit Marie.

"He has to be picked up by Friday."

Ashley just nodded making a mental note to call Kelly before she leaves. Once they had all the information they needed she quickly left his office heading back to her cubicle. Just as she sat down her cell rang, looking at the caller id she saw it was Kyla calling the anger she was holding at bay exploded "What do you want?" she said angrily.

There was a long pause then "wow who pissed in your cheerios?" came the annoyed voice.

"You did when you pulled that stunt this weekend."

"What?" Kyla was confused for a moment then realized what Ashley was referring too "so I'm taking it things didn't end well."

"Look Kyla there's a lot that you don't know, so I'd appreciated it if you" catching herself before she said something she would regret she didn't finish her sentence. She knew the one she was angry at was Spencer and not the girl on the phone. She didn't know the history between the two women so instead she said "Look Kyla there's a lot that happened between Spencer and I so can you please not play match maker."

"I'm sorry Ashley, I didn't know."

"I know, look I'm leaving to pick up an out of state placement when I get back lets hang out okay?"

They made plans to have dinner when Ashley returned. She logged off the computer and clean off her desk Aiden had given both her and Spencer the day off tomorrow to have time to prepare to leave Wednesday morning. Ashley didn't have anything that needed to be done at the time so she was going to call it a day and head home. She decided to stop by Spencer's cubicle to arrange what time they would meet Wednesday morning. Spencer was on the phone when she walked into her cubicle Ashley was going to leave when the blonde motioned for her to sit down signally that she would only be a few minutes. Ashley sat down watch Spencer while the blondes back was turned to her fighting the flood of different emotions she felt right now. She had never been so angry at someone before but what was really frustrating was she would catch herself wanting to be near the blonde. She decided that during this trip she was going to get some answers to all the questions she wondered over the years. Spencer hung up the phone turning to look at Ashley "hey."

"You are going to answer all my questions this trip, I'm not planning on forgiving you or being friends again but I need to know."

Spencer looked at Ashley wondering what questions she had and if Spencer was ready to answer them. Ashley must have seen the hesitation in eyes "you don't have a choice, after everything you put me through you owe me this."

Spencer nodded agreeing that she did owe Ashley something "we will talk; I will explain whatever it is you need to know." After arranging the details for the trip Ashley headed home needing to have time to herself before leaving on what she knew was going to be an emotionally straining trip.


End file.
